I sat in my seat during the second period listening to music dozing off, after a while i turn to the side trying to catch a glance at Bluey when my heart feel like it just jumped outta my chest as I make eye contact with him, he was already staring at me. I had quickly turned away completely turning my body, I turned to Jay and smiled that uncomfortable forced smile making her brows furrow in confusion, "What?" I open my mouth to speak and whisper slightly "He's looking at me" She leans closer "what?" I sigh "Bro are you that deaf I said, hes looking at me" I spoke a little louder which she finally heard, she glanced over at him and shrugged "He wasn't" I sigh once more "Because I already caught him dumb bitch." Me and jay both turn back to our teacher who just called us out. I get a little annoyed, not because of him like hes doing his job but it was Bluey, because I'm so confused on why my feelings for this boy are so fucking strong. My eyes drift from the board to my computer on my desk to Bluey, I sigh before turning back to my computer, i felt like crying, over a fucking boy, it hurt me, He makes my heart tighten with hurt, love, and fear, I take a breath before i glance at him seeing his eyes meet mine. he stares for a second pretty sure he saw my rear filled eyes but i look away, he never questions me crying, he always ignored me but acknowledged me, he never wanted to get in the way. I wish he did though, it felt wrong though.
~.~.~
its 4:38 am, I hadn't slept it felt like my body was crushed as I laid there my tears rolling down the side of my face, I laid motionless on my bed, how could one boy make me feel like this, reality always comes crashing down crushing me like I do know, I've always known.
