"but i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day"
vivienne dawson is a college student who loves to party in between her studying. while at a new year's party, she meets charlie bushnell, an upcoming actor. juggling her academic future an...
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warning: suicide attempt and thoughts!
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9th february 2024
VIVIENNE COULDN'T HELP BUT wonder what would happen if she drowned herself right then and there. she was lying in the bathtub debating whether to hold herself under or not.
drowning seemed like the easiest option, but maybe too easy. vivienne always thought that if she were to kill herself, it would have to be painful. she wanted to suffer, not because of the things she's done, but because she thought she deserved it.
she sunk even lower into the tub, the water was now up to her chin.
without thinking she slipped under, letting the water eat her alive. her head was pounding and her ears were filling up with water. all the breath left her lungs and she could feel the life leaving her body. it was suddenly too much, she couldn't go through with it.
she shot up, gasping for air. her hand moved to her chest, feeling her body move with every breath.
she quickly climbed out of the bath, wrapping a towel around herself. she held herself tight, not daring to move for what felt like hours.
after gathering the courage to move, she left the bathroom and made her way back to her room.
she closed the door behind her and sat on her bed, bringing her knees to her chest. she rested her head on her knees, trying to process what she'd just done.
she'd been selfish and hadn't thought about anyone else. she hadn't thought about her mother finding her dead body, she hadn't thought about kaylee. she hadn't thought it through.
she threw on a pair of pyjamas and started drying her hair. she decided to try to forget whatever had just happened.
her long hair always took so long to dry, even with a hair dryer.
after her hair was as dry as it was going to get, she made her way down stairs.
everyone was in the living room watching something.
