Stop and Stare

14

Lisa slammed the trunk of her car shut and numbly got into her car. She sat in the driver's seat, hands gripping the steering wheel, white knuckled. Her eyes stared wide eyed unseeing out of the windshield, then she started to tremble. She didn't notice it at first. Disconnected, her mind swinging wildly between realities; the Lisa that's enjoying a romp with Brad at the Paradise Motel like she always did every other Friday after work and the Lisa staring down into the unmoving body in her trunk. With an effort, she disengaged her right hand from the steering wheel and reached up to flip the sun visor down. That's when she noticed how much her hand was shaking. Lisa willed her hand to steady itself but it wouldn't stop trembling. Instead, she gripped the sun visor as she began to check herself in the mirror.

The routine seldom varied. She'd gone through the ritual hundreds if not thousands of times. First, she checked her hair, it's always the first thing she checked because her hair was usually perfect. This time it was no different, she noticed the carefully coiffed waves around her face was only slightly ruffled. She ran her still trembling hand through the waves, fluffed and pinched the strands she wasn't satisfied with into position. Then she focused on her face, the eyes, it's always so tricky to get the make-up right and Lisa was dismayed to see her mascara and eyeliner had smudged the lower lids. She turned her head this way and that and decided that since this was a weekend evening, the smudges worked in her favor, a lack lustered effort at a smoky-clubbing look but it's a look that she still deemed flattering.

She then scanned her face overall and noticed the paleness. She disliked the pale look; she always thought it made her look weak.

Automatically, she reached for her purse carelessly tossed on the passenger seat for her compact. Lisa kept her gaze on the mirror still looking herself over while her hand rummaged through her purse. When her hand came upon the familiar shape and feel of the compact, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly. The feel of it always excited her, knowing how expensive the compact was. Her heart would tighten and flutter just a little then a slight tingling sensation would travel up her spine that would tickle the tip of her nose and traveled up as the sensation settled over her scalp. The feeling of power. Lisa dabbed the powder puff with a deft hand and the corner of her mouth quirked up further, noticing her hands weren't trembling anymore. She began to apply the powder. As she did so, she noticed that the powder seemed to be streaking and smearing, much to her dismay. She leaned closer towards the mirror and saw for the first time the streaks and smears on her face was dark, annoyed she replaced the powder puff and snapped the lid of her compact shut. She touched the streaks and smears, it felt sticky. What in the world was this? The face powder was from an exclusive brand, very expensive. Lisa had it in her mind to lodge a complaint, such shoddy quality was inexcusable. Uncharacteristically, she rubbed at the spots with the streaks and smears until they weren't so evident and patted more face powder on until she was satisfied with the glow she had achieved on her face.

One last check of her face on the mirror and a quick adjustment to her bangs, Lisa was ready to head home, must not keep the sitter waiting. The last thing she wanted was to arouse suspicions that she's been stepping out regularly on Dan. She turned the key and the engine roared to life. A quick glance at the digital clock displayed on the dash told her she had time to spare for a little detour. Lisa mentally ran through the supplies she bought from the hardware store some time ago to help the company with packaging samples—the gloves would come in handy, Lisa smiled, thinking that it's fortuitous she still had them in her trunk; it's as if it's meant to be.

Lisa spent the weekend pampering herself but not before she had her car detailed first thing Saturday morning right after Dan had gotten home. Then she went on a little shopping spree to replace the face powder she had ruined. She came home with lunch and more relaxed than she'd ever had in a long time.

"You're home," Dan greeted Lisa at the door connected to the garage with a quick peck on her cheek before relieving her of her burdens.

Lisa smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist and they walked into the kitchen. "Lasagna, ok? I just can't enough of it, Gino's magic sauce is hard to beat."

"Definitely, I can use the comfort of carbs," Dan said lightly.

Lisa crooked an eyebrow. "Trouble at work?"

"I don't know what it is," Dan sighed, "nothing seems to be working out, one step forward and two steps back type situation."

"That sounds frustrating," Lisa said. "Well, let's eat and maybe you'll feel better." She took the shopping bag from the mall off the counter, "How are the kids?"

"They're in the nursery playing." Dan lifted the thick foil from the tray and started getting out the plates.

"I won't be a minute." Lisa turned and headed for their bedroom.

Lisa changed into something more comfortable and sat in front of her dressing table. She took out the replacement pressed face powder she had bought and popped it into her compact. She turned the compact over in her hand admiring the workmanship and once again that sensation of power washed over her. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she checked her make up over and thought that the recommendations from the girl at the counter was decent. Lisa looked at her expertly lined lips by the girl and decided that the color really did suit her. Tomato Bandit was printed on top of the tiny label at the bottom of the lipstick when she looked trying to learn the name of the shade. Who thought of these names? Lisa placed her new purchases in her make-up drawer and checked her reflection again and sighed—lamenting over the fleetingness of her beautifully lined lips, it wouldn't be so after the meal. That's life, wasn't it? Here one minute, gone the next. Lisa left her bedroom, smiling the smile of contentment. Life was back to where it should be.

Dan looked at his wife and noticed that the edge that he's detecting in her for the past little while was gone. The wonders of retail therapy, he supposed. "Got anything good from the mall?" He pulled out the chair for Lisa before seating himself.

"Just some make-up I had ran out." Lisa started on the salad Dan had prepared. "I did pick up a couple tubes of lipsticks, new shade I wanted to try out." She pointed to her lips with her fork, "I'm wearing one of them now. What do you think?"

Dan looked at his wife and smiled. "Picture perfect as always. The new shade suits you."

"Thanks. The girl at the counter recommended it, said it was the latest for the season." Lisa chuckled. "Wanna guess the name of the shade?" She didn't wait for Dan's reply. "Tomato Bandit. Can you believe it?"

Dan chuckled too. "Appropriate, considering what we're having right now."

Thelate lunch passed happily between the husband and wife. The chatter and lightbanter were something they hadn't enjoyed for some time. Dan couldn't help butwanting to commit such lightness in his being to memory. Despite the setbacksat work, nothing was more important than right here, right now. The contentmentand happiness he felt was priceless, a treasure he thought he'll always lookedback upon fondly. Life was as it should be in its most wholesome.