Tea time

chapter 24

as i sit on the couch my head in shawns lap staring at the wall

he woke up to me crying last night and he hasnt left my side

i feel my phone vibrating in my pocket

i look an its him its

"nashypoo💘😻"

shawn: are you goona answer?

rose: he'll leave a messege

shawn: how do you know that?

rose: because i know him

i wait a minute and then the voicemail pops up on my phone

shawn: ill go

he start to stand up

rose: dont you fucking dare

shawn: your psycho rosey

rose: i know i know i know

he brushes through my hair he always does this to comfort me
it works more with nash but thats not goona happen right now

we sit in silence my phone in my hand

rose: what if he doesnt want me anymore

shawn: he'll be fucking stupid

rose: hay no swearing!! but thankyou

shawn: wait you just swore thats no fair

rose: you need you innocence ive already lost it

he just laughs and keeps playing with my hair

rose: okay ready?

he nods hilding my hand

i press play closing my eyes

i hear a cry and a croak his voice croaks when he cries its not funny it makes you cry

nash: do you ever just want to let go of someone because you feel like they'll be happier without you?because you feel like you cant make them happy, you feel like the effort you put in isnt enough but you dont want to let go of that undying , passionate , unconditioal love you have for them .
have you ever regretted a decision so much that you think about it all the time and that you imagine all the different ways the situation could have turned out if you didnt mess up so bad and i feel like a teenage girl saying this but im constantly insecure that if you dont say you love me or text me as often ill be paranoid that youve found someone better .
im scared rose because i laugh harder with you i feel more like myself with you i trust you with the real me or when something goes right or wrong or i hear a funny joke or see something bazzare youre the first person i wanna talk to about it

i stay still , frozen while shawn is wiping all my tears away i cant move at all i feel like ill break if i do

nash: but if you dont forgive me what if i never get over you what if i wake up every day of my fucking life and want you so badly that my bones shake , so much that they feel like they're goona break? what if you were the one but i wasnt? what if i keep waiting for a call or text or a sighn from god that never comes?
what if you never love me back?