King of my heart

part 13- Good and evil

Ohh I'm finally home. My parents left again and have already arrived home. I miss them already but I can't do anything about it, after all it was my choice to stay here. Brittany and Ji Woo were very kind to me for these three days. It's already been three days and it's agony to see Nate all day every day and see him ignore me like this. As if we had never met, strangers to the world, deeply wounded by general humanity.
Nate's parents then brought me home with the greatest care they could give me. I love them, well I always loved them but now much much more. They are always there for me and already treat me as if I were their daughter. If they knew what was between me and their son, perhaps they would never see me with the same eyes again. Especially because they forbade both me and Nate from bringing guys home who weren't just friends. I imagine they would be shocked to know that the "guys" they are referring to are exactly under their roof.  I feel like I'm betraying them and I feel terribly guilty. I wonder if Nate is experiencing this sentiment too.

Austin came to visit me this morning and brought me all the homework that the teachers have already given us to do. Incredible how in just three days of school they have already explained 4 topics and set tests for the whole next month. My friend was also so understandable and generous to pass me all his notes so I went to the beach to start studying until an hour ago. The wind that ruffled my hair made me reborn, no thought was able to afflict me there. I was completely free. Not even Nate's eyes from the window which I felt like a sharp blade, too judgmental, managed to break me down and prevent me from singing and dancing to my song. "King of my heart". I'm associating it with him now, Nate. He took over my heart without any consideration and now he isn't taking care of it as he should. He is leaving him alone and sending a war against apparently reciprocated but considered "not right" feelings. How can a feeling be "not right", I wonder. The heart feels what it wants and can and if two people are similar it means that they are made for each other. Forever and For Always. Maybe I'm too romantic, an incurable romantic. I dream of a love that exhausts me. "You want a love that consumes you, you want passion, adventure, and also a bit of danger..." how can I not think about these words said by Damon Salvatore. Yes I'm a The Vampire Diaries girlie. Never mind but these words are everything I want to live. Without love it's hard to live and I'm experiencing this right now.

When I was dancing on the sand immersed in my favorite songs and in the wind that hugged me you could see the sea move, a bit like my conscience. The arms slowly rising and moving above my head brought a smile to my face, finally.
However, Nate suddenly arrived while I was recording with my phone my happiness at that moment after studying. After some seconds I turn back and I see him. With his toned abs best defined by a tight t-shirt. His arms folded as he licks his lips and looks away with a hint of a smile. When I turn to look at him he lowers his head shaking it to fix his hair and always with his arms folded and with his head down he raises his eyes to look into mine. Oh gosh that look will kill me sooner or later.

"Well, are you going to post it?" he asks, referring to the video, especially the part where I moved the most. He is...jealous?
"I don't think so, but what are you doing here-" I try to answer him but am stopped by his sudden proximity. In fact we will be about 5 centimeters away.
"I don't know how much I would like you to post it. Maybe it would be better if you sent it to me and I keep it for myself. Just for me" he states biting his lip and tucking my hair behind my ears making me smell his powerful scent. I'm surrounded by his scent and the butterflies that are occupying my stomach. Was he hitting on me after telling me to leave him alone?
"Nate... you can't do this. You said we can't be together so you confuse me..." I whisper with all my strength. He kisses my ear leaning down as he grabs my hips pulling me closer to him.

I pull him away from me, pushing him away with my hands on his chest.
"You can't confuse me like this, this isn't right. Are you making fun of me like you did with Camila?" I accuse him.
"See, we can't keep accusing each other like this forever. How can we be together? You're too stubborn" is he saying not to accuse each other of absolutely nothing and then accuses me again?
There is tension between us, and a lot of it. A profound attraction that is about to attract us like magnets as we look at each other as if we were the last human beings on the face of the earth.
"And Lucas?" he asks me tensely, whispering.
"What about your mother and Ji Woo?" I ask him out of breath, getting closer and closer to his lips.
"It's not fair" he kisses me, gently biting my lips.
"It's not fair at all," I whisper to him between kisses as we collapse on the floor  composed of sand which persuades the situation with a romanticism that makes everything more complete. Nate starts kissing my neck. Is he back? Has he finally come back to me? My love, mine all mine.
The sky gets better and better, just for us. Is this a sign? Our bodies fill the presence of both, united as good and evil.