push the button .

if you let me

it hurts me the most when I wake

TPH
november 19th, 2023

I woke slowly due to the shift of temperature around my body. I sat up rubbing my eyes looking for the person who had my body singing last night. not a trace. she had left to get home to her husband before he left his place of work.

The feeling of hurt in my chest was small due to the repeated occurrence

I pulled my sheets back and slid on my house shoes before making my way to the bathroom. I turned on the water in my shower before stepping back and removing the clothes on my body.

"Alexa," I called out into the air before hearing the beep signaling that it picked up on my voice.

"play Faith Evans"  I spoke before listening to what she was gonna play because she be on that bullshit.

"Playing This Christmas by Chris Brown" she replied. I sighed, rolling my eyes and grabbing my phone connecting to my speaker myself.

Once I got my music going I finally stepped into the shower letting my joints relax. they were sore from last night's activities.

I closed my eyes letting the sounds of the water intrude my mind before stepping further into the water and letting it soak my hair.  I washed my hair and my body thoroughly before stepping out and grabbing my robe. Pulling the bathroom door open before I walked to my bed grabbed my lotion on my dresser and sat down.  Pumping the lotion into my hands a few times I rubbed my palms together to warm it before rubbing it on my thighs.

"Jesus" I whispered out while groaning. they were sore, aching, throbbing, and all at one time.  That's one thing she is good at. Being a good woman outside of bed? not so much. I guess she saves that side
for her husband.  Getting too deep into my thoughts triggered the tears rolling down my face. I wiped my face before standing up and going to my dresser to get my clothes.

I did not feel like going to that set and faking a happy friendship with her ass. But, I digress. I grabbed the keys to my car after fully getting dressed. Turning over the engine I begin my trip to my destination.

______

I walked onto the set clutching the fuck out of my purse. I successfully made it to my trailer while avoiding her. Well, that's what I thought. Hearing knocks on my door I slowly made my way over there.
Opening the door I see the one person that I didn't want to face. She reached out to touch me but I backed away.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked while reaching out again. I looked at her hand before scoffing and turning away from her.

"Penda."

"Monique?"

"Stop playing with me and tell me what's wrong."

I hate when the problem wants to know the problem. Bitch it's you.

"In all honesty, I'm not fucking with how you act," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused

"Please don't act stupid right now. I'm so done with you the shit is crazy."

"Whoa. Slow down and explain to me what's wrong."

"Really? What's wrong is that you use me like some fuck toy and don't show me affection until the cameras are rolling. You are such an inconsiderate bitch." I said before turning back around to my vanity. I looked up in my mirror to see her approaching me.

"Rah." She spoke softly touching my shoulder.

"I only left early this morning because I had to go handle something with Kendall. I'm leaving him because last night I realized-"

I held my hand up to stop her sentence.

"Save that shit for a bitch that's gone believe it. You said that shit two weeks ago."

"Baby I promise."

"Yea yea. Can you leave?"

"No because-"

"Bye."

_____

FMB

Standing up from the side of my toilet I wiped my mouth making my way to the sink. Grabbing the mouthwash

"Shit," I groaned from the burn of the TheraBreath.

(a/n: which kind y'all use? I use the dazzling mint and ts is MINTY!)

I fixed my hair up and made my way downstairs. Grabbing my keys I walked out of the front door. Cranking my car up I started my journey to Taraji's house. Once I made it there I hesitated to get out of the car. Building up the courage to get out I unlocked the door before pulling the door handle my way and released myself from this hot ass car. Making my way to the door made my heart start racing. Shaking off the chills I raised my hand to knock but before I could the door swung open.

"What?" She spat

"I have something to tell you," I said while twiddling my fingers.

"Wassup?"

"I-I...."

"Just spit it so I can get back to what I was doing."

"I'm pregnant."

(a/n: that's a shame.)

"What you say?"

"I'm pregn-" before I could finish her hand met the side of my face. I was in disbelief. That shit stung.

"Get off my doorstep." She said slamming the door in my face

I made my way back to my car with tears rolling down my face.

I fucked up...

____

wassam yawww.

lmk how you feel.

vote and comment please.