UNNOTICED LOVE❤

A hope

               RAGHAV KRISHNAN

All of agitation and restlessness washes away when i saw her before me which i was feeling all the way coming at her house. When i heard she was not well, a piercing pain travel through me. The pain all known still at the verge of anonymity. Twenty years and still i am in full control of her and the fucking part is that she still have no idea about it. My heart still do the same stupid stuff that did when i saw her first after many years in the joining interview of mine.
The same way it is racing as i look at her eyes. At this moment if anyone says i am the luckiest person alive, I would agree in a heartbeat. i am  feeding her with my hand and not once she has objected which is a rare case considering our interactions. She  looked disturb and i know her too well to think it's work. I am aware of her habit of suppressing her emotions. She shows, she don't feel anything but i know that she feels everything and to a more deeper level.

She suddenly asked about me having a wife. This is a common question i get asked about when people meet Sweety. But what left me speechless was the tear drop that left her eyes. I wipe it with my thumb. My heart burns seeing her like this. I cup her cheeks in my palm. I lean closure to her as i need some of her to sustain me.
"I am known to be a calm person Prakriti. but tears in your eyes, generate a different kind of rage inside me, to destroy every reason of it, even if i am one of them. So tell me the cause and save me from this torment" I say truthfully, my teeth gritting. I never lose my cool in front of her. But her thinking of other women in my life lead me to this overflow of emotions. My eyes not leaving hers neither hers. She looks surprise at my sudden Verbalization. I can see, our closeness is making her cheeks a shade of pink which is such a rare sight.
"Who was the woman with you and Sweety in that photo frame hanging on the wall of living room." She says with a hint of accusation. I feels amuse at the words. I must have gone  crazy otherwise i won't be thinking that she cried thinking i am married and had kid with her. I felt joy as i think this a possibility but anger on myself for being the cause of her tears.
"She is my cousin. She is a professor, Sweety and her have a close relationship." I reply without trying to manipulate her into accepting of any emotion that she is not ready for or don't want completely. I never wanted things in life that are not made for me  but she is the flames  for which every moth goes weather he wants or not.

"Did you thought she is my wife, prakriti. Than tell me why would i had called my boss when my daughter needed help. Why she was the first  that i remember when i thought of a woman" I express the tangled emotions which can lead to better situation or worst. My analysis thinking is used of getting lost in the orbit. When i think of yesterday's situation she was the only person i could thought about who can help sweety, she admires her and i knew nobody's words would have affected more that the woman that she idealise. I have told her about  stories of achievement and struggle of Purnima empire and how prakriti has lead it's way.

"I hate your cooking, i never wish to have food made by you everyday." She lower her gaze from me while ignoring my statement. Her little snarky comment trying to distract us from this tension between us. I think she realises our not so professional closeness. I remove my palm unwantedly. I notice the khichdi is finished.

"I know, that's why i specially added carrots that you  hates the most." I reply as we are back to our little rivalry that she likes to hide behind.

" How do know that" If she is talking about how do i know she loves carrots in her khichdi, this is where she underestimates me. She has been eating food cooked by me for years now, she just doesn't know it. She eagerly waits for the arrival of food everyday that she claims hate so much.

"I will tell you tomorrow" I says as i get up to leave. She looks fucking cute with her clueless face. i think l am liking it too much hence i am going to do many things unknown to her.

"I won't be in office tomorrow, i have invitation to attend. " She says

"See you tomorrow Ms purnima mam.  " I says teasing,