Something about that outcast

Chapter 2

Troyes POV

We all get in the car getting ready for lunch, I had just finished packing for New York and honestly I'm kinda dreading it. My mum is driving and everyone is crammed in our little car and I start to drift off into my own world of thinking, I do this all the time and I knew I would get scolded for it later but oh well.

I just couldn't stop thinking about it I got an email yesterday that there was only 2 apartment rooms on the floor I was on. I've always been really insecure about my body and personality but everything is coming down on me, like what if my only neighbor hates me and thinks I'm ugly? I mean us I'm freakishly skinny and well downright hideous but what if he like really hates me? I don't know what I would do, this was a horrible idea why did I do this I'm going to have no friends and everyone is going to hate me.

No I need to stop thinking like this my urge to cut was getting stronger but I can't do it I've been clean for 6 months now that's half a year! If I fuck that up I'm really going to hate myself. I remember looking up who I was going to be sharing apartment floors with and it was a guy named Tyler Oakley I looked him up on tumblr seeing as I know nothing better to do in my time and he is BEAUTIFUL! His profile picture is a selfie of him smirking he has blue hair and it suits him so damn well. STOP!! I can't think about him like that I haven't even met him. What if he's homophobic that would definitely not work out too well considering how gay I am. But honestly how many strait guys have blue hair? Well things might be different in America so I wouldn't know.

"Troye, hey Earth to Troye we do have to get out of the car sometime."

"What?" Sage just started laughing at how zoned out I had been. We had parked 5 minutes ago and I apparently wouldn't come out of my own world to realize this. I mentally scolded myself about getting lost in my thoughts so easily.

"Let's go you big goof and um fix your hair." I looked in the re-view Mirror and saw that half of my quiff had gotten flattened down. I rolled my eyes and fixed it and then walked in the restaurant where everyone else was sitting .

"Troye you decided to join us" my dad laughed

"I told you guys I was tired so it's your fault!"

The rest of lunch just continued as it always dose lately just talking about New York and having a very annoying waitress hit on me while everyone else started laughing hysterically. I had come out to my family and when I was 14 and they were very accepting so whenever this happened it was a horrible comedy for them to watch. For me however it was just extremely awkward. I will never know what anyone sees in me but I think it's just desperation.

After lunch we go to a park and take a too long hike, I guess you could say I'm pretty out of shape. I'm an Internet kid what do you expect I don't do anything that requires getting out of the house and energy, so basically everything that doesn't include my laptop.

"Troye mum and I are going to go another mile and everyone else is gunna go back and get some ice cream and I'm guessing you want the ice cream so you might want to go with them."

"Okay see you Both soon!"

We eventually got to the Ice cream store and got milkshakes and then met up with everyone else and then drove home.

When I got home I just went upstairs and went to bed I don't usually go to bed this early but tomorrow I was getting on my plane super early so I decided not to go to bed at 4am.

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(A/U)

So let me just say I am so so so so so so so sorry it's taken me way to long to write a chapter so let me explain.

1st writers block but that's not even an excuse anymore is it? 2nd I've developed some anxiety and I've just been kinda afraid to do anything like my family that i never see is downstairs and I ate dinner with them but I'm just to scared to have like an actual conversation or anything if that makes since? But honestly there is no excuse and I'm a shitty person and I can't say I'm sorry enough so I'm going to try and write more but idk if I'm going to be able to finish this but I'm going to try my best for you guys❤️.

So gay marriage is legal in the U.S.!!!! Omfg I'm so happy for all of these people words cannot describe😁😁!

I'm so mad at my aunt though 1st she's homophobic (bitch) 2nd when I 1st saw her she called me fat!! Like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? She was like wow you've gotten some meat on those bones since I last saw you. Honestly wtf and 3rd she was saying. That women shouldn't compete on this on tv show because they would never be strong enough to bet the men on the show So ya I'm pissed at her but in a few days she will be gone so it's okayish

I also just found out that one of my friends is bi?!?! I'm personally not gay or bi but I 10000% support everyone in the LGBTQ+ community and I'm so happy for her and she's only 13 so yay! She's being honest with herself earlier then most people I think so that's amazing and I'm so happy for her. She's not out irl only on this secret tumblr she has and she let me follow her but I think her sister knows.

But anyways I'm rambling I love you all and I hope you guys are all super happy and are having a great day but I'm gunna stop here because this is super long so bye!

P.S I'm always available to talk to people who need help or advice I think I'm a pretty good advice giver (is that even a thing) so I would love to become your friend okay I'm done love you bye❤️

~k