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CHAPTER FOUR: LIVE FOR THE GODDAMN KIDS

CHAPTER THREE: LIVE FOR THE GODDAMN KIDS

After the Sunday service two happy girls that looked like they still had a bright future ahead of them probably in their early teens running up and down bumped into Idaho after church, "Sorry ma'am," they said. They only thing that they had was the innocence of a thirteen year old didn't know that much and the only thing they wanted was to have fun. However they seemed to be in a rush, going somewhere but where they were going was nothing of anyone's interest but Stewart who was now preparing to leave the church at the church exit held her breath for an instant she looked like someone who had just had déjà vu. All of a sudden in a snap of a second she looked like someone who had just went back to the late 90s where she was still someone's wife with her friend Stella back in their days where she wondered for all her life what she was really made of... was she going to be a hard working stay at home wife someone who could go into the mirror every Sunday wear her makeup in a way that no one could see her pain and all that joy that she had lost count of and maybe she would be a strong mother for her kids for the rest of her life. She had a vivid memory back in the days where she had her own daughter Idaho playing with her best friend Violet

"Oh Violet let us go and play, "she said.

This was just after church just like those two little girls and there was Violet and Idaho living up the fun.

"But wait a minute there is someone who wants to see you," Violet responded

Benjamin the young little boy was holding a petal and all of a sudden she placed the daisy in between Idaho's ear and hair.

"Can I please talk to you please?"

She gasped for a second with surprise that the same boy that she was into for a long time wanted to talk to her after a long time.

"Oh I don't think that's a good idea right now," Idaho whispered as she couldn't say yes right there she would probably look desperate and in front of them there was her parents

For some instance

Benjamin looked the other side and there she saw Idaho parents, Stewart and Dylan who were leaving the church and looked quite seriously and were probably not ready to even see their daughter talk to some stranger even after the church service. Girls during the 90s had not had the freedom they have today, Stewart for some time for someone who was smart had lost her rights for some time looked like someone who was just there in the world to breathe there was no life left in her guts she was tired every day. Even when she had some energy Dylan would come from work hold her hand firmer twist it to the point where she couldn't feel her hands no more. And for the longest time she felt no need to report when Sunday approaches apply all sort of makeup that removed all the pain that she had gone through. Benjamin started walking away from Idaho more slowly pulled a little note from his pants and there in an instance wrote a quick landline.

"Idaho get in the car, his father told her in somehow demanding way. Idaho knew what she had to do go and say bye to Violet and hop into the silent drive to their home that was almost like a jail when Dylan was around.

Idaho hopped into their Mazda and she sat quietly as normally as she did every Sunday but if there was something very evident was the pink cheeks that she had for the first time. Was she in love she wondered she had finally talked to her crush after a long time of wondering? But she didn't know that Violet had passed on the word to Benjamin about Idaho's crush. Violet was tired of the talks that the two had of him. She just wanted to help her friend who couldn't say it. But that was Violet personality someone who was never shy, raised by her single mother who had given her so much of the freedom. Her mother was Stella a long old friend of Stewart. Stella wasn't in any hurry of getting remarried she had left his husband and there she loved her independence life though sometimes it came with a lot of work of some sort. Stella didn't have anyone giving her orders but the only thing she had trouble with was to get into two or more shifts just to get that food on the table. And soon Dylan and Stewart just arrived at their home. Stewart was just tired with all of the covering that she had done to her face she went straight to the mirror took a tissue opened the running water and there she looked at herself for the first time in a long time. She had seen the silent hustle that her friend Stella had to go through. She asked herself if she is ready to do all of that alone, raising her two daughters alone and also raising strong confident daughters a chance that she never got. Stewart started crying for a minute, she was just tired she had contained a lot of pain for a long time. She saw her mother going the same pain and then she thought when it could stop and there she saw Idaho being happy about something for a long time. She had seen her happy face at the rear mirrors in the car. She had always looked for her kids. Stewart smiled, she was excited to talk to her daughter about Benjamin everything about him. Stewart had seen their small interaction she just didn't need to say it out loud she didn't bother at all she was just an excited mother, she really wanted to know how Idaho felt about talking to that boy and was waiting to ask her out and even how she felt about him but something was not okay it was Dylan who was always the obstacle and the polar opposite of anything possible. For some time Stewart even questioned herself why she was in the marriage for a long time. It had been a long time since they even went out as a couple alone, laughed out together made love and the last time she remembered the only time he was romantic was 17 years ago when Dylan proposed to her. The proposal was filled short with Sunday dates that happened after Church but after that she became a long time housewife. Maybe Dylan was a misogynist, he had limited views about women but you know what they say an apple does not fall far away from the tree. From what we had heard about Dylan he was raised in the same environment, unromantic, abused mother who could not stand up for herself. Dylan looked up to her father for inspiration he was the man who provided for everything while his mother was just there to make dinner. Stewart wondered why she couldn't just leave. So there they were at their four bedroom house, where they lived with their grandfather (Dylan's father). Even if Dylan tried to be a little more romantic there was his father who believed that women were just meant o stick inside the kitchen and nothing more of any short and their two daughters Idaho and Janet. With Stewart having daughters Dylan and her father looked at her as if she was the problem someone who could give birth to a son. For some time laughter was only felt when their grandfather and father was not at home. For that time they were living in their own skin, the girls felt free for that time they could wear whatever they that is the short skirts, played out loud to Whitney Houston songs and have the times of their lives. For a long time Idaho almost had two real friends Violet and Janet who her little other sister who was just only two years younger than her was also her closest friend besides from Violet. She didn't have much choice either she would stuck with her sister in the same room that they shared, also they divided their small little room and when Dylan fought with Stewart made sure that it wasn't that serious. For that time the girls went playing tennis, swimming and even doing shopping. And after the shopping they would hide their short skirts from their father who was almost a strict man never wanted to liberate the girls from any freedom. And from there Stewart needed to live a bit schedule a day for the Fridays enjoy a bit leave the dishes and the pots for a while.

The next Friday the girls were out to enjoy. Fridays were a reminder that the three girls had their own lives besides from being perfect in front of their society. They would dress up even though the girls like wearing short skirts something was right what their mother wanted something that reached their knees a short dress that wouldn't be too revealing. If anything was shorter that than then she would have a problem but the two girls never failed to serve every time they would do anything that their mother would say she was the only understanding person that they had in their family.

"Girls let us go for tennis today what you think about this," Stewart asked and by this time she had not asked for permission from Dylan she had some money that she got from his pockets. Every Saturday he would return home all drunk and he would forget some of the money from his pocket

"Sure mom," Idaho replied she knew that Benjamin and Violet would be there besides there was only one public tennis court in Huntingdon besides from the hotel. And the hotel was undeniably far away and the tennis academy was just so close

"Mom can you drop me at the swimming lessons please, Janet asked she wasn't that much of a tennis fan. Still young and wanted to play with some of the water

Stewart wanted to go to the tennis so she had something that she wanted to clear the first thing that came to her mind, drop off Janet and after that she would go with Idaho to tennis. Stewart was already wearing her tennis shorts and they had packed everything in their car. The swimming pool and the tennis court was not that far away, it was all at the same place under one academy. She walked Janet to the pool where she dropped her to her coach Thomas an old high school friend of Dylan who was his roommate back in the days where the three of profoundly thought that they knew each other but after some few years Stewart couldn't believe the man that he loved in high school. She would even wonder where all of that sweetness had gone in an instance?

"Thomas I am leaving you with Janet I want to go to the tennis,"

"Don't worry I will take care of Janet, and don't you ever worry she will soon learn to float and freestyle now,"

"Bye baby I will see you after we are done don't worry about a thing," Stewart said