A Court Of Thorns And Roses: The Fan Fic

A Wilted Rose I (Rewritten)

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•Elain•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

It had been two years since Elain Archeron had accepted her mating bond to Lucien Vanserra, and while that fae part of herself had never felt more complete, the humanity inside of her yearned for something more, something chosen, rather than something chosen for her. She didn't even feel that compatible with Lucien, Feyre had been right, he was a nice male, a man she supposed she didn't mind spending the rest of her life with, but she wanted someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She felt as though the mating bond had stripped her of her agency, the pressure from Rhysand to accept the bond for fear of it creating conflict with the Autumn Court (courtesy of Beron) should she reject him or lead Lucien on. Even after all this time, her heart still yearned for the Shadowsinger, whose presence she still felt around her in every shadowy corner of her townhouse that she shared with her mate. Her mate... someone who was supposed to be her perfect match, her equal. She envied the loving bonds between the people around her. Feyre and Rhysand who seemed oh so perfect for one another, Nesta and Cassian who even despite their rough start loved each other more than they had ever hated each other in the past... or at least regarding the hatred on Nesta's end of the relationship.

She wanted, yearned for a love like that, but even after all this time, wherever she kissed Lucien goodbye whenever he went on one of his emissary travels, she had to squeeze her eyes tight and recall that one kiss she had shared with the male she truly loved, truly longed for. Sometimes, when she was sat alone in the drawing room, she could swear she saw that same male perched on a rooftop, observing her. But perhaps she was becoming delusional. Perhaps she should just distract herself with her flowers as she always had. Perhaps if she did so, she could try to forge her happiness, rather than hoping one day it would just come back to her. So, she did just that, kneeling at the flowerbeds as she plucked out the weeds, much too aware of the eyes watching her from not too far away.

.·:*¨ ¨*:·.Azriel.·:*¨ ¨*:·.

Azriel sat atop a slanted shingled rooftop, observing the woman who even after all the time was the object of his desire, the centre of his every fantasy. He could see, even from so far, the dip of her shoulders, like the weight of the world was pressing down on them, the bags beneath her eyes, the dullness of her once shining hair and gorgeous eyes that, even after being so dulled, he swore he could stare into for hours on end.

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He remembered that night, the night his heart was shattered to pieces, albeit not for the first time. Starfall around two years ago, the day he was determined to make sure Elain knew how he felt, no matter what Rhys said. He couldn't just bottle up his feelings for 500 years like he had done with Mor. He had already been holding on for long enough, more than he could bear, he couldn't hold on any longer, especially not when Elain looked so gorgeous that night in a flowing pink dress that made her look more regal than those mortal Queens on the continent could ever dream of even seeming. Even with all the longing in his heart, he couldn't help but be scared, scared of the consequences, scared that Elain had moved on when he had failed to do so.... He supposed the least he could do was ask her for a dance. He only noticed he had been staring at her when she began walking towards him, he immediately averted his gaze, taking a drink from a tray as a caterer passed him, trying to look as inconspicuous as he could.

She was smiling at him... Azriel thought she looked so beautiful when she smiled, the corners of her soft lips tugging upwards, the way her brown eyes sparkled brighter than any star that Azriel had seen, the colour reminding him of melted chocolate, so warm and comforting. His gaze shifted back to Elain as he felt her gently poke his shoulder, her gaze softening when it met his own. Her voice was soft, more enchanting than any melody played by any master of any instrument, more ethereal than a cacophonous choir of angels. He hardly recalled any words exchanged between the two of them, he only remembered the way her laughter blessed his ears, the way her hand felt on his arm, the warmth of her skin on his own sending a shiver up his spine. He only remembered missing her as he watched her walk away, the way she moved gracefully around the room as he couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from her all night. He only remembered the confusion he felt when after a short conversation with Feyre and Rhysand, Elain, like she was in some kind of trance, filled a plate with food and walked towards Lucien Vanserra who had beforehand been sitting on his own.

Azriel observed closely the way her hands shook, causing a slice of carrot to fall from the plate. He clenched his fists, taking a deep breath as he watched Elain sit beside Lucien, she spoke to him for a while before taking a deep breath. Azriel could see the subtle rise of her chest, even from across the room, when she took that breath. He could see the movement of her lips even when he couldn't hear her words as she slid the plate across the table so it sat in front of Lucien

"I accept the bond... the mating bond, I mean... I... accept it."

Azriel turned around and left. He knew he wouldn't be able to bear seeing what would happen next. How Lucien would grin, how he would eat that meal, savouring every bite before taking Elain into his arms, kissing her face, the way Azriel was supposed to be. She was supposed to be in his arms. If Azriel was her mate, he was sure he would appreciate Elain in a way far superior to Lucien, in a way that bastard never could... but that was not the fate that the cauldron had blessed him with.

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And so, that was the event that led to today. He had been walking through Velaris with Gwyn, he had been hoping that perhaps she was the key to finally moving on from Elain. She was an amazing, wonderful female. She was kind, witty, strong and seemed to have taken a liking to Azriel. He took her to the river, his hand in her own. He looked at her, smiled with her, laughed with her. He thought it was going so well, but when he leaned in to kiss her, she stopped him. Azriel stared at her, confused for a moment, but Gwyn, the ever so wise person she was only laughed and said

"I do not make a habit of pursuing males who are clearly enamoured with another... I like you, Az, but no matter how hard you try, you don't like me... not in the way I like you."
And she left him without another word. Azriel needed to clear his mind, flying around Velaris until he was distracted by the sight of Elain tending to her garden. Some part of him knew that she was aware of his presence. Maybe that part of him is what convinced him to fly down to her garden, to have the first conversation the two had had alone since that day two years ago, or maybe is was the fact that Azriel knew that Lucien was away on the continent again. Maybe that was what urged him to speak.

"The roses are beautiful..."