Everything I ever knew about Chris Chambers

Chapter 3

Chris

That previous morning.

Chris had a feeling Gordie would be up. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. The morning was eerily silent as he kept downstairs, careful to step over the twelfth one which creaked under anyone's weight. He did not, under any circumstances, want his father to wake up. Even though Chris was sure he wouldn't because he was passed out and immensely hungover.

Chris wasn't sure how he knew that Gordie was up. Everything was asleep including the sky which was only now becoming a lighter gray. The frosted grass crunched under his footsteps as he made his way to Gordie's window. He stared up at it, contemplating if he was correct or not. The shades were drawn closed, and the lights were off. There was no indication that Gordie Lachance was not fast asleep. Still, Chris was sure of it.

He grabbed a small rock from a nearby garden bed and cradled it in his hand. Taking a moment to step back, he gave it a light toss as Gordie's window. It made a small crack and plummeted back down, running into external pipes and into a nearby shrub. Chris stood there for a moment, wondering if it had worked. Even if Gordie was up as he had expected, he could have not heard it. Chris bent down to pick up another rock, and threw it at the window again. This time the curtains moved, bingo. Still they were not drawn back, and part of Chris wasn't surprised. Gordie probably assumed he was a burglar or something. He almost laughed at that. He watched Gordie's face pear from behind the curtains, before fully drawing them back at the sight. Chris wasn't sure why this was so amusing to him, but he couldn't help but smile.

Gordie hauled open the window, "What?"

"Finally, you're awake." Chris said, resting his hands on his hips. Then adding a small, "I've been waiting for ages."

Which wasn't exactly true. He hadn't. But it felt like ages.

"Chris, it's so early, what do you want?" Gordie asked.

Chris wasn't exactly sure what he wanted out of this conversation. There were a plethora of things he would like to say to Gordie. Half of them he refused to even say to himself. They were buried deep down inside himself but oh how he wished to say them. Eventually, he said, "Come down. I want to talk to you."

Chris had been thinking a lot about what Gordie had said when they ate together. He didn't know why it irked him so much. But what hurt the most, he knew Gordie was right. Vern and Teddy, as good friends as they were, didn't provide him with much. Humor, sure, but not much comfort, no stability. Not that Chris needed those things. He was perfectly fine dealing with things on his own. No one needed to get involved with such insignificant topics like Chris's problems. Chris's dad was bad but Teddy's dad was worse. Chris's brother hated him but Gordie's brother was dead. Everyone else had much bigger problems on their hands, and Chris didn't want to be a whiny bitch about his own.

Eventually, Chris could hear Gordie's footsteps crunching in the grass. He turned to face him, his heart racing, "Hi." Chris said.

Gordie smiled back, and Chris's stomach lurched. Why was he like this? Chris cleared his throat and said, "Um.. I just want to say that I'm not mad at you, Gord."

Gordie's face fell, "What?"

Chris dug his nails into his hands. He'd much rather step in front of a train than this, He hated how his stomach hurt just to say it. He hated the way Gordie was looking at him. There was too much sympathy in his eyes. He could almost feel himself thinking. One thing they both had in common was they hated pity. But only Chris really knew both of them did. "You're right." Chris said eventually, "That I don't owe them anything. I guess I don't."