In Between

Chapter 3: I Would Never

Rain taps on my window; a pretty song to wake me. He burrows further into our blankets as I slip out of bed. I sigh to myself, the world seems so still. Making my way out of our room, the door groans and I can hear him make a small noise. Stay asleep; the silence is nice today. There's not much sun, but a gloomy shine brightens the hallway through one small window. The bathroom door is closed. The hallway walls are so empty; no pictures or paintings. This faded green paint needs new life. At the end of the narrow hallway are the old stairs that creak under my weight. They lead me down beside the front door. An entryway of wasted space. What's the point of this shoe rack if we never use this door? The wooden door locked at all times.

Sunshine pushes through the rain and clouds to fill the dining room; glimmering between the gray shades lining the large window sitting alongside the sliding glass door to the porch. I walk through the kitchen to my left to start a pot of coffee. Where are the cigarettes? The aroma of coffee beans swirl around the house as I grab the cigarettes and lighter off of a nearby counter. There they are! I debate lighting it inside, but ultimately decide to step out into the rain, covered by the roof above the porch.

The rain rapidly tumbled through the trees. I think about how often I would play in the rain when I was younger. How it felt tapping my shoulders. Being drenched with wet grass underneath my toes. Splashing in puddles without a care in the world. My body being so cold, but my heart feeling so warm. Laughing, completely entertained by the droplets on my tongue; the taste of fresh rain water. Right now, all I can taste is my cigarette. My mother always told me, "sometimes you need to connect with nature. Let it wash away your fears and pain." I wonder if I need a nature shower. Shit, I think I need more than a nature shower; I need nature to hit me with a power washer.

The sliding door opens behind me. He's awake. I feel his arms hold me from behind as his chin rests on my shoulder.

"Having a cigarette?" His voice is still sleepy.
"Yeah, listening to the rain."
"Listening to the rain?"
"Have you ever played in the rain, babe?"
"No." I am gobsmacked from the thought that he never played in the rain. What kid doesn't play in the rain?
"Really? It's so refreshing!" I exclaim while I put my cigarette out in the wet ashtray. The smoke swirls diminish quickly as the cigarette sizzles.
"Show me," He moves swiftly, grabbing my hand and smiles. I glance over his body; he's wearing nothing but his boxers. This is so cute! I flash him a big smile. "Let's go dance in the rain!" He reiterates that he wants to go play in the rain for the first time, with me.

My white t-shirt becomes see-through immediately. The rain hits every inch of us as we run around the field below the crying skies. Our laughter crowds the yard. Our feet, bare against every blade of grass. I ask him if he's ever tasted the rain. Giving him no time to respond, I stick my tongue out toward the sky. He follows along. It tastes just as I remember it. Fresh... free. "It doesn't even taste like anything!" He exclaims. But it's rain! "It tastes like rain!" I answer so matter-of-fact. He shakes his head and charges me, his arms out to hold me. Twirling me around, the trees become a blur of greens and browns. Rain trickling down our faces, he places me on my feet. His hands tenderly pressed against my cheeks. We stand there, dripping wet; staring at each other without words. Our eyes speak for us. I love this man. I love these moments. All bad things disappear when I look into his eyes. I've never felt so loved before. He's so handsome. I can't help but think to myself how lucky I am to have him; to be here in the pouring rain with him. We look at each other for what feels like an eternity before he kisses me. His lips are plump and covered in rainwater. Can this kiss, this moment, last forever? He pulls away slowly. His hands move off of my cheeks, pushing my hair away from my face. His eyes are a bright green; I'm stuck staring at them. I can't look away. He kisses me again, more aggressively this time, but in a good way. "Are we done playing in the rain?" He asks after taking his lips away from mine. I don't want to be, but I guess we are. I nod, he's taken my words away from me with that last kiss.