A B-Day Full Of Tears

Chapter 1

I never thought my birthday would be filled with sadness, despair, and tears but here I am standing with tears flowing like a river down my cheeks as I watch my aunt's coffin being lowered into the earth.

"I should've gone with her. She asked me if I wanted to go with her to pick up the pizza we'd had ordered, but I said no. I should've said yes maybe then she wouldn't have-" I swallow hard trying to fight the urge to fall down and not get up."-died."

It's to much, the pain the sadness the guilt and the anger at myself is to much to handle and I fall to my knees on the muddy ground and bury my head in my hands and sob.

I feel the rain pour down on me soaking my hair and clothes making them stick to my face and body, but I can't find myself to care because all I feel like doing is giving up.
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I don't know how long I stayed crying on my knees, praying, hoping, wishing this was all just a dream and that I would wake up to the smell of freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookies that my aunt would make every day in the morning saying it helped the place smell good, and whenever I asked her why she didn't just buy some scented candles that smelled like cookies she would always say "Why would I waste my money on fake artificial smells when you can just bake something? Plus unlike candles or other scented things you cant eat them but you can eat what you bake so really it's like a two in one deal."

I smile sadly recalling all the times she would say that whenever me or someone else would ask why she would always bake something in the morning.

I raise my head from my hands and look around seeing that it's starting to get dark. I shiver as a breeze blows by reminding me that I'm still soaked and it's now just lightly drizzling instead of pouring down like earlier.

I look towards the grave and see that the casket has already been fully buried and the workers are already gone.

I slowly stand up and walk toward the grave and look down and see the words Josaine Cyril Bradley. A Loving Sister, Daughter, And Aunt. May She Rest In Peace, and my aunt's smiling face on the temporary grave marker that they put there until the gravestone I bought arrives.

I feel fresh tears flooding and overflowing from my eyes but I wipe them away with the back of my hand knowing I need to stop crying until I get back home.

" G-Goodbye Aunty, I love you, don't worry I-I'll come back to see you tomorrow I promise." I say struggling to speak and not to break down in tears again.

I take one last look at the picture of my aunt's smiling face then turn around and walk out of the graveyard and towards the parking lot where I parked my car.

I take the car keys out of my pocket and unlock the car. I open the door and close it after I get inside. I put the key in the ignition and turn it, and turn on the heater.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath fighting tears. I look out towards the graveyard and smile sadly.

"I promise I will come back. I love you." I say one more time, then back the car up and turn on the road heading home.