𝗂 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗂'𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 | 𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗒

003

You ruined my life,
And now I'm stuck in this mess.
Your words break my heart,
Yet I still love you the most.
Your lies hurt me so much,
The pain is more than I can bear.
Yet, despite all this,
I can't bring yourself to hate you-
Can't bear to see your smile and pretend it doesn't hurt.
I should hate you- should resent you forever-
But my heart has been tainted by your love...

(This chapter is inspired by 'I should hate you' by Gracie Abrams.)

...

"So you're telling me I have to supervise you whilst you look after a severed penis?" Stephanie asked, her brows furrowed as she looked at Meredith. She knew the girl beside her had caused all the interns and most of the nurses to hate her, but she couldn't hold a grudge against her. She understood her, Stephanie knew she was the bad person. Meredith nodded, looking at the floor sheepishly as they walked.

"Legally, I have to look after it as I collected the evidence before the police take it from us and I needed somebody to supervise me whilst I have it." Meredith explained to the girl beside her, Steph nodding as she began to understand.

"So.. did you pick me or something?" Stephanie asked. She knew it was a stupid question as soon as it left her mouth. Meredith shook her head, smiling a little at the stupid question before realising Stephanie wasn't her best friend anymore, and went back to her neutral facial expression.

"No, Bailey made that decision." Meredith lied, heading towards the cafeteria. Stephanie adopting a confused look as she noticed this.

"Why are we going to the cafeteria?" She asked, her face full of puzzlement. Meredith then glanced at Steph, maintaining eye contact for a minute before looking back down.

"You didn't eat your lunch in the cafeteria, I saw you. So we're going to eat." Meredith announced as she opened the doors to the cafeteria, letting Stephanie walk in. Stephanie stepped in gracefully.

"Thanks." She mumbled as Meredith held the door for her, Meredith nodded in reply. She walked into the cafeteria and looked at the selection of food.
"I'm not really hungry, Mer.." She sighed, looking at all the food, not wanting any of it.

"Oh, yes you are. Stop lying to yourself just... I had that pasta earlier, It tastes similar to the one we used to buy like every single day in Dartmouth. I know you like pasta.." Meredith smirked, pointing at a certain pack of pasta, Stephanie biting her lip in response.
"If you don't get it for yourself, I'm gonna get it for you." Meredith said quietly, causing Steph to sigh.

"Fine." She mumbled, picking up the pasta and paying for it before settling down on a small table, opening the box of pasta as she began to eat.
"I can't believe this is what we're doing right now." Stephanie said whilst she took a bite out of her pasta. The two didn't have the best history, at least in the past two year, so they didn't have too much to say. Thankfully, the sound of others talking filled the awkward silences. She peered at the box they had to look after in disgust. Meredith nodded in agreement slightly.

"Yeah. It's stupid, I know. I'm sorry if it's keeping you from doing anything you wanted to do." Meredith said, instinctively apologising.

"It's fine, you didn't even choose me to do this so I couldn't even try to blame you." Stephanie shrugged, causing Meredith to sigh. Steph looked at the girl, confused as to why she seemed to upset. Meredith watched Steph as she ate, making her a little more uncomfortable and nervous as she normally would.
"You know, it's rude to stare." Stephanie said jokingly, hoping Meredith would take the hint and look away.

"You know, it's important to eat too. Please tell me you're eating." Meredith sighed in reply, hating how much she cared for the girl. She was terrible at holding grudges.