Damsel in the Red Dress

Red Line

What did you do with your weekend?

Nothing much. I'm not a partier.

That's a shame! You're supposed to get out your partying days now before you're old and expected to be responsible.

Maybe I'm old at heart. I think it's just called tired.

Why is it snowing so much more now than it did over the holidays?

Who knows. Isn't there a saying about when the days begin to lengthen...?

Kattar's big surgery is this Friday, though there have been a lot of little ones throughout the week.

Mrs. Moon still hasn't been able to get her ticket changed.

I'm still on the visitors' list but I have no time -

The texts are sporadic - he's spent a whole lot of this week unconscious.

Don't you think the janitor looks kind of like Mr. Rogers?

Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of that.

Seriously? I mean, come on. He's even wearing a sweater.

So are you, genius. It's like 10 degrees.

I bet it's so cold in the hospital.

You going straight home?

Probably.

The last few days have felt like running through water.

I go to bed. I wake up just as tired as I was the night before, which makes sense since I haven't been getting off of work until 11 p.m.

I'm so tired but I don't want to sleep. And dream about...

Him.

Just tell the truth, Alicia.

I had a nightmare last night - we relived the accident-

That's it, reality is horrifying enough.

*

Tonight is colder than it has any right to be. Snow glitters under my worn-out boots like a thousand fallen stars, and my feet go numb through the soles - through the stockings. I feel soggy and gray, stamping against the sidewalk to keep from freezing while we wait for the traffic to slow down enough to cross the street. Everyone's in a hurry to be somewhere - maybe restaurants, maybe parties - I wouldn't put it past them, even on a weeknight.

What I wouldn't give to be home already...

"Well, the left wing looks cute," Shannon smiles, "And it's about time. For people who work in art, the staff sure had some gaudy tastes."

I smile a little in spite of myself, but it feels like a hairline crack, spreading outward from my lips in a thin, crooked line.

"It does seem a little redundant to decorate a museum. I guess they wanted to make a big show out of it since it's the first new exhibit in a while. Still, it was definitely a good thing we got to give our opinion before opening day. Those streamers were..." I just shake my head, and let out a long slow breath, watching it blossom into a white cloud in the blackness in front of me. I breathe in the frozen night and the heaviness resettles.

It's too late.

I so don't want to cook when I get home, but I've burned through my leftovers, and there's been no time to bake anything. I don't want to bathe. I don't want to move. I'd go to sleep here on the street corner if I wouldn't freeze to death.