Dirty, Dirty Liars [Mature]

[32] 三十二

A/N: The following chapter contains depictions of blood and gore. 

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As I stared at the ring in Ryuzo's hands, my mouth was too dry to talk. I moved from beneath the sheets to sit beside him on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to say something instead.

"I would not ask until I knew you were ready, but my father has never been one to wait and see," he explained. "He wants me by his side in leadership now. I told him the only way I would accept was if he agreed to protect you. He would only agree if I proved you were loyal to me."

"But . . . Um . . ." Words still failed me when the gleaming symbol of my possible future was staring me in the face. I reached over and closed the box in his hands. "How does . . . that . . . prove my loyalty?"

"I'm not sure he believes I love you the way I do." He continued to stare at the box. In all the times he had looked tortured by his reality, this was the worst it had ever been. "I told him my intent, I showed him I bought the ring, and now he poisons you."

Does he want me to be here or not? I thought to myself. Do I want to be here?

"He hasn't hurt me as much as he's hurt you," I reminded him. "If it only gets worse from here, what is the point? He's going to kill you, kill me, or just make you so miserable you'll want to die, anyway. If that isn't enough reason for you to leave now, what is?"

"I can't leave when he is watching every move we make. And they will not be the only ones watching when I'm established leadership, either."

"What do you mean, leadership?"

"The initiation ceremony is this weekend. He will announce me as wakagashira-daiko, placing me over Tokyo as third in line, and sending a clear message to the other gumi that I will take over for him when he decides the time is right."

"This weekend . . ." I repeated, as if that was the most shocking part of what he said.

He stood, pacing the small area before saying, "I can't let him do this to you any longer. You have to leave Japan."

"I'm not going without you. I told you that."

"Why can't you listen to me?!" he yelled, something he had never done before.

My eyes widened with shock. The look on his face was not one of anger, but anguish. Tears welled for many reasons.

He came to me and fell to his knees, holding my legs as he dropped his head onto my lap. "Mina-chan," he said in a quivering voice. "I cannot think — I cannot breathe when I know you are not safe. I can't live with the guilt of doing this to you, place you in this position for the rest of your life."

A tear escaped my eye. "You don't want me here anymore."

The look on his face, the desperation behind his clawing grasp of my legs, made my heart shatter. "I don't want to let you go, my sakura. But I have to."

"No."

"Mina . . ."

"No!"

I held his face in my hands. "Where am I going to go? Where else would I want to be?" I cried. "I have no home if I'm not with you."

He sighed, but protested no longer, only nuzzling his head against my hand.

"You said the ceremony is for all leadership, right?"

"Yes."

"And there's a party or celebration after. There's always a fucking party."

"Yes."