the bizarre misadventures of tristina may

Chapter 3: false paradise

Inside, my favorite song was playing. "Miel pops, zuzuzu, miam miam miam."

I couldn't help but boogie a little bit!!~~~

While I was getting my jam on, a familiar face entered the foyer. OBAMA????
"o-obbamna? (^o^) is that you???"
"Hey, uh. It's me, uh, obama," he said in his deep, throaty voice. Suddenly my heart started beating pretty fast .. was I falling for him?

"Could I have an autograph please?? I love your work!!!!! I love what Michelle did with the school lunch system."

"Uh, it seems as though, uh, that would be all right," he replied, "Let me fetch a pen."

While he dug through his Addison Rae x Chanel handbag, I gazed at his beautiful balding head. This was a truly magisterial specimen. Chomp chomp.

Oomph! I just caught myself gnawing on his head! Sometimes i get carried away in the moment thinking about........*that day*..........

"My apologies, Former President, Obama. Please sign right here." (I gestured to a piece of wax paper). "I'll get this transferred to a tattoo artist and-"'

As I was finishing my sentence, I heard the sturdy, masculine clomps of Ronald Desanctomonious's feet

on the dark, immaculately polished hardwood floor.

"Gee whillickers. It's him!!!!!!! Gotta bounce :P" i leaped from my makeshift seat, which was a pile of free shavocadoos. TvT
I galloped gracefully out of the mansion and promptly realized I didn't have a plan. How would I get home??? I couldn't run on the gravel, I'd forgotten my shoes in Robert's car!!! My bare tootsie-rolls were out and about. Suddenly I heard the familiar crunch crunch of men's size 13 nikes on the ground. I turned around and saw TALL GIRL!!!!!!!!
"You're in for a world of pain, little one." I realized she was Ron's security guard.

"OH no!!! please don't hurt me!! I simply wanted to go for a stroll. Care to join me?" I adopted a friendly Greek accent, hoping to win her over.
"Well, all right. I don't have many friends. I'm too tall and clumsy. People call me things like 'different' and 'weird'. I hate being tall. It's so annoying ugh."
"oki... =>= my name is Tristina and I'm also different. I have rainbow hair and people talk about me behind my back. My trigger words are 'mouseketeer' 'walter white' and 'green bay packers'. I don't have any special talents except I can identify any song from the harry potter soundtrack in 10 seconds or less."
"weeeeellllll......that sounds pretty darned cool . maybe we should be friends!!!!"bellowed Tall Girl.
"owie, ur talking so loud it burst my ear drum. It's bleeding. Look what you did!!!!!" said a short woman who was passing by.
Tall girl burst into tears and began caressing the woman consolingly.
I Used this opportunity to flee the area, creeping through a pair of parked cars and slipping into the driver's seat. Luckily, the key was in the ignition, and I turned it. The vehicle was a regal beast with a calm temperament, and I was able to steer it through the open gate.
I turned on the radio. My favorite song!!!!!!!!
"had to have high high hopes for a living. Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing"
I suddenly got teary-eyed remembering panic at the disco's breakup of one person when I accidentally ran a red light and was struck by a car in the direction perpendicular to my own!!!! Oh no!!! what would I do?? I tried to start the car back up and began maneuvering it past the other car in the collision, but it only went ten feet before it lumbered to a halt. All of a sudden, the police arrived.
"You're going to court missy." Said a grey-haired cop.
I bowed my head submissively and allowed him to handcuff me and place me in the back seat of his police car.
what would happen in court??????