Am I Dreaming?

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When Serene awoke, her legs felt like iron and refused to respond. She opened her eyes and looked at her feet, fully expecting to see the horse pinning her to the ground. However, her legs were free and covered by a soft white quilt. She sat up slowly and looked around. With a sudden realization, she fell back to her pillow. "Just another dream," she told herself, but the feeling hadn't left her. The crushing weight of the horse had felt so real, and the fiery brand of abandonment had scarred her heart. Its pain was not easily forgotten.

It was late in the morning when she exited her room. Slipping out, she quietly walked the halls, not exactly knowing who or what she was looking for. She wanted to see her father, but she was afraid. Her last encounter had rattled her and made her hesitant to leave her room for fear that some other element of her life had crumbled.

Upon descending the stairs to the main floor, she saw her father just approaching to ascend them, and her heart skipped a beat in both hope and fear. I have to find out!

She stopped on the fourth step to wait for her father to mount the steps. He walked with his muscular arms crossed and his gaze on the floor, causing him to remain ignorant of her presence until she spoke.

"Hello, Father," she greeted in a soft voice.

His eyes shot up to meet hers for a mere moment then returned to the stairway. "Serene." He acknowledged her with a nod then continued on his way without another word. Serene couldn't take it anymore. She ran up the stairs to catch up with him.

"Father!" She grabbed his arm to stop him and get his attention. When he looked at her with expressionless eyes, her heart sank. "Why?" she asked the simple question that had plagued her day and night. "You've been different ever since Mother left us, and you've hardly spoken to or even looked at me." Tears threatened to come, and she struggled against them. "Why? Please, tell me, why?"

Imrah made no response at first, and for one moment at the mention of her mother, a slight glaze seemed to come over his eyes. Almost instantly, it was replaced by an icy coldness that put Serene on her heels. "I've made it clear to you that I don't want to answer any more foolish questions. If you must ask them, go waste someone else's time–not mine. I have work to do." Imrah pushed on to continue, but Serene still held his arm.

"Father, I–"

"I've discussed this with you already," he interrupted. "Death is something knights face every day, and it's time you learned to face it properly. Gather your composure and go on with life. Such is the life of a soldier, and you will learn to live it."

He took another step up, before turning back to her, his gaze turning angry. "And instead of spending days locked up in your room, you should be studying with your masters. I will not allow your skills to waste away simply because you can't handle death. And I want no further unnecessary interruptions of my time or business. If I want you, I'll send for you, and if you absolutely need me, you may send for me. Do you understand?"

He paused for her to answer. She nodded with tears streaming down her cheeks. This must be a dream! It can't be real!

He regarded her with scorn. "I have important business to attend to, and you should be studying in some form. I'll speak to your instructors soon to work out a schedule for your further training." With that, he turned on his heel and continued up the stairs.

When he reached the stair landing, he looked once more at Serene, tears still running down her face. With a sneering tone he said, "With the crying you've been doing lately, I've reason to reconsider your capabilities as Lady of my army. If you can't handle the death of one, how can you handle matters of an army?" With a final glance, he turned and continued up the stairs.

Serene stood on the steps, her head shaking in denial. No! It can't be!

When his figure disappeared, she turned and rushed to her room.

The tears of grief flowed down Serene's cheeks again, until at last, she drifted into a shallow, troubled sleep.

∞∞∞

Serene vaulted onto her saddle and kicked her horse to a gallop. Her steed charged forward, and Serene turned her head to see her companion struggling to urge his horse faster. Prince Romeni's horse finally gained enough speed to catch up with Serene, but she rode faster, passing him again. She rode on, reveling in the pleasure of the speed.

Suddenly, a blur flew past her, and she squinted to see the prince's rich blue cape in front of her billowing behind him. He turned to look at her, laughing, and she realized he had tricked her. His mount was a warhorse, sleek and fast, but had feigned weakness. At a slight command from its master, the steed had burst into a powerful gallop, catching Serene off-guard.

Serene snorted in frustration and pushed her horse to catch up to her competitor. However, the faster she urged her horse to go, the faster Prince Romeni's horse seemed to run. Serene's frustration turned to anger as she leaned even closer to her steed, pushing her faster. She never lost, and she didn't want to now, especially to this foreign prince.

Suddenly, the prince's horse stumbled. Romeni leaned down to encourage him to continue, but the steed began to slow. Serene took the opportunity and urged her horse faster to pass him. As she flew by him, she saw his steed stagger a few more steps before falling to the ground.

Ensuring that she was far enough to make a break in case this was another trick, Serene turned her horse to watch as the prince was thrown to the ground to land hard on his back as his steed rolled over onto him. He cried out in pain as the horse landed on his chest, pinning his legs to the ground. He tried with all his might to pull out from under the horse, but his efforts did little against the weight of the huge animal. Face twisted in pain, he looked up to Serene and called for her to help him.

The scene of her father riding on without her flashed across her mind's eye, and she cringed. The weight of abandonment had nearly crushed her, and the emotions of fear, grief, and rejection rose up within her again. The last thing she wanted to do was help a conceited prince from the position she had been left in. She knew the pain and couldn't bring herself to help someone else out of it when she had been left in it. Somehow, it helped to see the Decian prince struggling against the weight of his steed, and she felt her grief fade away and smoldering anger replace it. She wanted to watch him suffer.

Serene watched him for another moment without a word before breaking out in laughter. "Call upon your invincible guards, prince!" she taunted. She saw horror and confusion flash across his face, and somehow, she loved it. She watched for another moment and then turned her horse and rode away, ignoring his cries for help. Let him die!

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