Glitter: A Pierre Gasly Story

Chapter 34

PIERRE'S POV

"Charles, mate, I know you're trying to cheer me up, but I really don't want to go out," I explained to my best friend as he fixed me with a disapproving stare. I recognized the look in his eyes, and the one he exchanged with his girlfriend as she sat on the couch beside him.

I sighed deeply and settled in for his regular speech.

"Pierre. I know you're still processing everything, but you cannot stay in this apartment any longer. You're here all by yourself, every day, and it's not healthy, it's just not," Charles lectured, going through the argument I knew by heart these days.

"I don't stay here every day. I go out," I argued back, slipping into our usual routine.

Charles sighed deeply because we both knew the truth. I didn't go out. I was hiding. And praying I'd wake up and this whole thing would be a bad dream. That I'd be back in Vegas, when things were so good.

The first few days after my fight with Ellie, I hadn't wanted to commit to any real plans. I'd been lucky that there'd been a bit of a break before the last race, and so I'd made sure I'd be available to talk to Ellie as soon as she calmed down.

Even after she'd told me we were over, I had been so sure that once her initial anger wore off, she'd call me, and we'd work through everything. We'd been through too much. We were in love. Surely, she wasn't going to throw away everything we'd built over Carlos's lies.

But a week turned to two. And then a month. The end of the season had come and gone, so had Christmas and the New Year, and I'd slowly accepted that it hadn't been just a fight.

Ellie had broken up with me.

I'd fucked everything up, like always, and she was done with me.

I should have seen it coming. Things had been going too well.

I'd gotten cocky, let my guard down and underestimated how much Carlos and Esteban wanted to fuck with me. Carlos, in particular, had played it all perfectly, positioning himself as Ellie's friend and someone she could count on for the truth.

It was all so clear now and I'd never been quite so mad at myself for not protecting her, and our relationship, better.

When I'd realized that I'd actually lost her, my first instinct had been to go out, get wasted and lose myself in the first girl I could find. I spent an entire day drinking by myself in my apartment in Paris. But as I replayed every moment we'd spent here together, I knew that if I gave in to self-pity, I'd lose Ellie forever. 

I wasn't ready to give up hope. If Ellie ever forgave me, finding out I'd fucked another girl would seal my fate.

"You don't go out. You train with Ben. You go to the grocery store, and to required team events, and sponsor meetings. That's not living Pierre, you're drowning here," Charles said harshly. I briefly looked at Alex, taking in the look of pity on her face.

I knew that she'd been in regular contact with Ellie. From what Charles had told me, Ellie had cut off contact with most of the grid, only talking to Alex and Carlos. Ellie had said she was busy preparing for her movie premiere and starting pre-production for her next one, but Alex said they all knew the truth; it was too hard to be their friend and not think of me. And after the pain I'd caused her, I couldn't blame her for wanting nothing to do with us.

At first, Alex had refused to give me any information about Ellie. But as time went on, her pity for me had grown and she'd started giving me bits and pieces. Every one felt like a cut against my heart, but it was also the only thing keeping me from completely losing it.