Dear, My Past Loves

He's Mr. (L)-Ackerman

Didn't know when,

didn't understand how,

but I'm starting to like you.

You're annoying, always tease me by calling "his" name although I told you him and I are done. We started to get closer, having fun together in games, but (L), I'm starting to like you. That day when I realized that, I know I can't have you. 

You're already with this girl and become lovers in game.

Yet I'm so selfish to know what your "real" relationship with her. Is it only for games or it's real? Do you like her? Is she more fun than me? Oh, how happy I am when you said you're not in a real relationship with her and how you keep teasing me like you're into me.

(L), does it mean we can be together?  The early days, you were so sure that you're not in a relationship with her and how you mad for her not wanting to be in the same guild and be with you. Because of that, you would sell your account and move to other server. And me being struck by a cupid's arrow, being blind and just wanting to be with you.

But, why does everything feels wrong now?

If you're not in a relationship with her, why would you feel bad for selling your account and leaving her?

If you're not in a relationship with her, why would you make big efforts for her to make a new account so you can be with her just because you feel bad for leaving her?

If you're not in a relationship with her, why would you let me hear all this and asking me what you should do?

(L),

I've asked you about your feelings and wonder if you're done with her and do you even ready to be with me. Your answer is yes.

But, why?

why?

why?

why?

Why do you care so much about her?

Why do you feel sad about her?

Why would you feel like your hurt because of her?

Why would you tell me to be with someone else all of sudden?

(L),

What is your true feelings for her?

What is your true feelings for me?

Do I even in your mind in a slightest minute?

Am I even important to you?

Or is it my fault since the beginning?

Is it my fault that it makes you questioned your relationship with her?

Is it my fault  that you're in pain right now?

What should I do?

Should I leave you?

Should I stay?

My head hurts, (L).

I don't know what to do.

I feel lost.

Oh, God.