Drafts and unfinished books/parts of books

Self-Vent

Warning for Su1cide thoughts.

He felt his chest hurt and tears stream down his face, hands clutching his arms as he hyperventilated.

"It's ok. You're ok," he mumbles to himself, stopping in-between sobs to speak quietly. "You're not alone... you're fine. They love you. They do..."

The soft sound of tears and drool hitting the ground was the only other sound other then his soft sobs. His vision was blurry, only seeing smudges of the world as tears blocked his vision. His nose hurt from crying so hard.

The feeling of defeat climbing up his back. He wanted to die. To end it all. Nobody would care, right? Hell, they would probably not even notice.

They probably wanted him dead.

"I-I'm fine. you're fine. Yo-ou do care. People love you, th-they do care. they d-do.." He attempted to console himself, talking as if he was another person.

"We all care for y-you... D-don't... D-don-..." A sob left his mouth, cutting him off. He didn't even attempt to continue. It was useless anyways. He knew it was all fake words. All just filthy lies he was telling himself.

"Are you ok?" A voice asked.

He looked up slightly from his spot on the floor. Seeing a person standing in front of him, looking concerned. Sure.. Concerned... not for him...

But concerned if he was mentally ill. He was scared. He didn't want to go back to the hospital. He would rather kill himself then go there again.

A soft whimper escaped his throat as he spoke quietly, his cries louder than his words. "Yeah.."

A beat of silence came before the person spoke up again. "Do you want to talk about it..?"

"No.." He curled in on himself more, not wanting to speak further. Yet he knew he couldn't stop now that he started.

"...Do you need a hug?"

Yes. Yes he did. He desperately wanted a hug. Comfort from someone other than himself... Yet he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. His voice caught in his throat as his cries died down. He wanted to have a hug. He really did.. He just couldn't bring himself to say it.

A whimper escaped his mouth, hoping that was enough to show he did without speaking. The person did not notice. Or... did they not care?

"I'll come back later," they said as they left him, not giving a single ounce of comfort.

He wanted that hug. He needed that hug. He was desperate, yet he couldn't move, he couldn't speak. All he could do was let out a heavy sob and let the tears come back once more.