Always You

I'm Sorry If I Say I Need You

(Harry's POV) 

I woke up with a horrible headache and strong urge to jump off the roof. 

I mean, what was I thinking yesterday? What the hell was wrong with past me? I ran out on Luke for the sole reason that he wasn't Louis William Tomlinson. We had just been sitting and reading in silence when it hit me that he was Luke and not Louis. It never would be Louis either, but I didn't want to continue the date after those thoughts. 

Even after all this time, I couldn't imagine having any sort of romantic feelings for anyone barring that fucker.

Speaking of that fucker, I had practically slept in his lap yesterday and then begged him to stay. I act drunk when I'm sad and that really should be stopped. I wondered what he was thinking. Niall told me that he had indeed stayed back. He was passed out in Liam's bed at the time when I had woken up. 

Liam didn't like Louis and Louis returned that favour, so if he had agreed to sleep in his room and all... Why would he though? He had no reason to stay. Especially not after the way I had been treating him. It wasn't even his fault really, it was mine. 

I was the one who was apparently still not over him and felt his lips when someone else kissed me. It didn't warrant me treating Louis horribly and being rude and cold towards him. Only to do a complete 180 and fall into his arms the next day. 

I rubbed my eyes and suppressed a groan. Niall was right outside and I didn't want him to be worried about me more than he already was. That was the precise reason I had called Liam. He would have been calm and poised and he definitely wouldn't have brought Louis along. 

I was so used to Louis always being there to hold on to my heart, to keep me from falling apart that my brain lost complete control over my body and went on autopilot. 

After mentally beating myself up for almost an hour, I finally got out of bed and stumbled to the living room. 

"Glad you're finally out mate," Niall greeted. "The extra hour do you some good?" 

I nodded, if only to placate him. He saw right through it, but thankfully didn't probe further right away. 

"I don't want to, but I'm gonna have to leave you today. I have a shit ton of work to sort out and I won't be able to do it from here. You'll be fine right?"

I nodded once again, not trusting my words. Maybe some alone time would do me some good. Ha! I almost had myself for a second there. 

"Thanks mate. Take care of yourself. Louis is still asleep, so you guys can have breakfast and stuff together. Don't skip meals okay?"

Louis was still here? How the fuck was I supposed to face him? 

Niall gave me a tight hug and a comforting pat on the back before disappearing out the front door.

 I must have stared at the closed door for quite  a while because I was brought back to reality by a tentative hand on my back. 

"You okay love?" Louis whispered. His voice lower and raspier than usual on account of him just having woken up. It sent an involuntary shiver down my back. I mentally scolded myself. I needed to get a hold on myself. Louis mistook my stupid body's butterflies for discomfort and quickly withdrew his hand. My back protested against that, feeling cold and empty all of a sudden. "I mean, I hope you're feeling better Harry." He corrected himself. I wished he hadn't. 

I turned around to face him. "Good morning Louis. I'm better now. Thanks." It didn't sit right with me. After yesterday, this forced formality felt... Wrong, for lack of a better word. My gut twisted uncomfortably as I said the impersonal words without even a tinge of emotion.