❝Hello there, this is Teen Confessions Helpline, what's the problem? Feel free to confess anything you like and we'll be there to help you every step of the way!❞
❝I know this is heavy but I've been feeling like I kind of...want to kill my...
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"So is this a more appropriate morning time to call?"
"Good boy. Now you know. I just had some morning coffee so all is good."
"I still can't believe it...Sirius died."
"Oh you're up to that part? God, I cried so hard when I read it. It's like a sliver of happiness in Harry's life and then...poof."
"I guess it's an allegory for life's suckiness. Reason #226 why it's pointless to stay on."
"Hey! Remember the rules? No suicide talk."
"No suicide talk? But that's the reason I'm here in the first place."
"And my solution is to distract you. Do you think you're the only person struggling with suicide? No, exactly. The thing is people find better ways to distract themselves, They find hobbies, passions, romance to distract them from the bleak black hole we're destined to prosper in for the rest of humanity. There is no point, true. But we can make our own reasons for existing and mine is loving all the wonders in this world have to offer."
"Which is Harry Potter, Fanfiction, chocolate and pizza."
"And short people. Don't forget those cute little midgets."
"That's derogatory to short people."
"And you're just derogatory with that level of thinking."
"Whatever. But...thanks."
"For what?"
"Listening, introducing me to Harry Potter..."
"No problem."
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