Sugar - Vessel / Sleep Token ff

~ 26 ~

.<<• Jade •>>.

I was teleported back to the river. The one at camp. A familiar ache settled in my chest, a phantom pain from the last time I was here. The pain of whatever it was that smashed against my head, kicking me to the ground and making me fall unconcouse.

Shaking myself off, I  headed towards my cabin - that was in sight - because God fuckungdamn did indeed to sleep. And good, I needed to eat.

I stepped lightly over fallen leaves and fragile flowers as to preserve their beauty and youth, trying not to make them crumble to sand.

I was about to open my cabin door, but my body stopped. my gut told me to wait. And so did. I was about to shake off the feeling and go into my cabin when I heard something. Quiet sobs, the kind that crackle in the silence like dry leaves underfoot. I froze, hand hovering over the handle. Moving over to the window at the side of the dark oak wood, I peered inside, the dim light of twilight casting long shadows across the room, and a couple lit candles from the desk giving a certain feel to the space. There, lightly hunched over, cross legged on my bed sat the familiar black coat and long dragging cape, decorated in a fluffy fleece collar and a single shoulder pad on the left arm. His back heaved up and down with the silent rhythm of crying. I could see his dark and fluffy brown hair, slick with sweat, and the mask in his hand, the one he wore to hide his face. That of which I had seen, his features being too perfect to forget.

It was Vessel.

For a moment, I stood there, paralyzed. This wasn’t the Vessel I knew. The one who had greeted me with a confident and emotionless face, his eyes as dark and deep as the river itself. The one who had carried out his duties with the quiet grace of a shadow. This man, this Vessel, had a weak side I thought Id already seen, but I seems that was only the surface.

My heart ached. I knew, of course, that Vessel's stoic demeanor was a mask for the pain he carried. He had fought in his wars long ago, had seen things that would scar a soul to its core. But I had never witnessed his pain so blatantly, never seen him break down like this.

I had never seen this man cry, he had expressed his worries and the things that bought him to tears, but I had never seen exactly what they could do. He seemed ignorant and unforgiving at first, but once you get to know him you realise it's only because he doesn't want to get hurt again.

A surge of compassion mingled with unease crept over me as I approached the door gently. Its hinges creaked in sympathy, alerting him of my presence. You could hear him shutter and race to put on his mask, while he cleared his throat and sniffled silently to try and compose himself.

As I peered around the corner, I found Vessel seated motionless on my bed, his mask concealing the turmoil his eyes must have held. I smiled briefly, an empathetic smile as I crept closer to him. He spoke in a hollow voice, his words crisp and detached. "You have entered the first stage of the Sleep Trials, Jade. Would you be able to describe what you saw?"

I recounted my experience: a bland yet beautiful island rising amidst an endless expanse of ocean, a skeletal creature that held the mace, the one I killed by setting ablaze. Sleep visiting me on the island. Vessel listened intently, his gaze unwavering.

He sat there for a moment, thinking through exactly what I and told him and evaluating it in his mind. His gaze frozen solid on the ground Infront of him as his mind disappeared, clearly getting lost in thought

"The island you visited..." he started to explain, it seemed he didn't know how to explain it but he tried. "Is a realm within your own mind, a sanctuary where time stands still. It is a place where you confront your deepest fears and unleash your hidden potential."

A shiver ran down my spine as I processed his words. It all makes sense now, how I could bring my mind from reality or imagination, why time never changed when I went back to the fire, and why Sleep, one of the most powerful ancient deities, couldn't put as much power over me. 'There will be more trials"' he continued, "At unpredictable times. Prepare yourself, Sugar, and don't let them get to you"

With a solemn nod, he vanished thought the door. leaving me alone with my thoughts. It seemed he couldn't leave quicker, him acting different which would be expected from the way he was before I interrupted. But why was he crying? I paced the cabin, my heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. The Sleep Tests were a test of my resolve, a challenge to unravel the secrets of my own mind. To see how much i could take and wait to see if I would be enough for Sleep.

I rethought over my experience. I had a note book, and decided to write it all down so I could think easier, which proved to help.

It wasn't until the next day that my mind felt clearer. I went outside briefly to get some air but the whole village seemed to be a ghost town. I didn't dare go out, not in my current state. My hair a mattered mess and my energy being drained, nor did I have a Need to interact with people at this stage so I didn't bother even leaving my cabin unless it was the watch the birds and bees that flooded the forest. Through it all, Vessel remained a distant observer, his mask a constant reminder of how we are a different person on the inside then who we make out to be.

I went to bed as soon as the sunset, hoping to get a good rest, and hoping that I don't get dragged into a another test. Not yet. I drifted off fairly quickly, leaving the land of the living temperarly as my mind became a dark canvas for dreams to be paint on. A dream started to form, it was dark and disturbing, unsurprising gathering what I've just witnessed.

I found a dark and tall figure out in the forest. It came closer and closer to me, but I still couldn't make out who it was. No mask, but a black cloak, no shoulder pieces or collars, no mask. Nothing to give it away. The figure was completely black, from head to toe and blended in with the dark surrounding of undergrowth.

 "Jade", he whispered, immediately I recognised the voice. The slight scratch in his deep voice letting me know how it is

"Vessel?" I started questioning the man in front of me. I had no reply, but he was not being me. Just staring here, his face blowing a hot breath in my ear and he spoke again.

"I'm still full of the love you want" he whispered. His voice sounded shattered and broken, something I haven't heard very often from this man.

In that moment, I longed to reach out and grab him, to hold him forever, never letting anything get to him. I loved him still, just as much as I always had,but things were different now that we weren't together.

I wished me could still have that bond that we used to, but as he said, it would be too dangerous, as it has already proved to be.