Sugar - Vessel / SleepToken ff

~ 32 ~

.<<• Jade •>>.

It had been two days, and I had begun to feel stronger and more confident with every movement. My body no longer got so cold that I would pass out, though I still wasn't allowed out of the cabin.

I urged to go outside and experience nature once again instead of just glaring at it through the windows.

Vessel had been distant since Sleep had called for him the other day. A wave of curiosity cursed through me every time I thought about the way he abruptly got up and left, and with each passing hour, my heart pounded with questions that remained unanswered.

There is still so much I do not know about him, only knowing him for a couple months some secrets have been unveiled yet some I fear I might have to fight tooth and nail for  him to even begin to tell me.

Who was he truly? Why had sleep given orders for me to stay here ? And why was I caught in this? Why not someone else way more important then me, why had it been me that has to be in the middle of this nightmare.

When Vessel returned that afternoon, I caught sight of the bowl of pumpkin soup he had brought. He leaned against the table, his presence both familiar and alien like. Covered in the same dark body paint like always, he pulled out his notebook and began to scribble something down. his silent ritual each time. My appetite had faded, replaced with an urgency to ask the questions that I had been so eager to learn the answers to.

As I stared at the steaming bowl, annoyance began to bubble within me, turning my eyes to slits. I needed answers, and I'm sure Vessel was awarez it's like he's been avoiding the confrontation with every fibre in his body.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I breathed, the frustration lacing my tone, making it sharp.

His head jerked to my direction, his gaze piercing through the mask, but in the same breath, he turned back to his writing. He let out a defeated huff, leaning against the counter, fingers splayed as if hoarding reasons he wouldn’t share.

“Jade, what are you talking about?” he asked, but I could detect the weariness in his voice. He knew he couldn't pull the wool over my eyes, as to why he's been avoiding me instead.

“You know what I mean,” I pressed, pushing past the unease in my chest. My heart raced, fueled by desperation. “One day, you act like you care for me, like you still love me, then the next day you ignore my whole existence. Everything has changed, and I need to know why. Not just us, but everything! I don’t understand why you're leaving me in the dark… why you keep trying to block me out.”

Vessel studied me while I spoke, and I could practically hear the gears ticking in his mind as he thought of what to say.

“Listen to me, Jade,” he began, and I noticed his voice soften despite the tension charging the air.

“I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could offer you the answers you crave. But it’s better if you don’t know.”

“Better for who?” I challenged, my voice rising. “You think this is easy for me? To be kept in the dark while you parade around like you’re protecting me? You’re just feeding my fears! You're leaving me with nothing but shadows in my mind. What am I suppose to do?" I took a deep breath, steadying myself before I continued, emotions boiling in my chest.

"I'm lost Ty. I don't know what Im ment to do... I have nothing to give me any sense of direction. Why can't you help me like you use to". I stared up at him as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

“Because our love wasnt true” he shot back, his voice cracking but resolute.

“We were not in love... Jade. We rushed into something that was built on lust and lies without knowing the real depths beneath. What happened between us should have never been a thing. It wasn't made to be like that,” he pleaded, pinning his gaze on mine, “and if we’re ever going to have a chance, it can’t be as it was. And I'm not sure if I have the strength to- ”

He stopped himself, as if he was about to say something he shouldn't. But I needed to know. "Have the strength to what, Ty. Tell me"

His stare went from the ground Infront of him to my eyes as I spoke.

He seemed to be fighting himself, on the inside before he spoke, practically yelling.

"I Don't Think I Have The Strength To Hold Back The Monster Inside Of Me, Jade".

My heart sank as I absorbed his words. What did he mean by "monster". He is Ty, or Vessels. But not a Monster. No, never.

"Monster? Ty, you are no monster, not you, or Vessel, or anything like that". I reassured him. Maybe there was something deeper going on with him that I can't see.

He fell silent, the shadows deepening behind him, as fear gripped me. “You don't know me, Jade. You only know who I have let you see. But I can't risk you getting hurt. So no, I don't think there will be anything between us ever again, and that's honestly what I believe'" he admitted quietly. “ I need to keep you safe, Jade. That is the order I've been given, and I never disobey”

His words felt heavy. While my heart longed to know what he was talking about, I sensed the seriousness in his voice. But I still had questions.

"And that’s it?” I said, frustration dripping from my tone. “You’re just gonna leave me with more worries? You can’t even give me a glimmer of hope to cling to?”

I stood abruptly, feeling the surge of emotions crash against me like waves. I turned toward the door, trembling with unsaid words. As I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, cold dread settled in my stomach, and suddenly, a hand shot out, twisting around my throat.

I froze, shock coursing through me as I felt Vessel’s grip tighten, but it wasn’t painful—just fierce and consuming. He spun me around, pinning me against the wall of the cabin, his presence overwhelming. His eyes were glowing with an otherworldly intensity that made my heart race.

“You. Do not. Leave,” he growled, the authority in his voice chilling me to the core. I could feel a darkness radiating from him that left me speechless, my breath hitching in my throat.

This wasn’t the gentle Vessel I had known. This was a side of him I never expected to see. I nodded slowly, fear and confusion swirling within me until he finally released me, retreating to the far side of the cabin, raking a hand through his dark hair as he unbuckled his mask.

“Vessel? Are you okay?” I stuttered, stepping closer. The coldness between us now felt like the void, I was nervouse to approach him, though I did none the less.

But when he turned to face me, the fury seemed to drain from him, replaced by a desolation that sent chills down my spine. “We never loved each other; it was only ever lust, forget about what we use to be, because it can never be” he spat before leaving the room, the words settling heavy in the air

“What the fuck is happening?” I whispered to nobody but the shadows that danced at the edges of the cabin. It seemed that the more I look for answers, the more I find out that isn't necessarily something I wanna know about right now.

I need to find out what Sleep had done to me, why the others have left, what is happening to Vessel, and if I will ever go home... If it even exists.

I sat back down at the couch, holding a pillow in my lap as I did so. I looked out the window as I so often did. Even though the tensioned still looked into he air, and the unanswered questions filled the room I sat it, the rest of Eden seemed to continue.

Mother birds flying into the tree to feed their young, the wind that sent leaves flying into the breeze, the stream of crystal water that continued to flow. It seemed that they all had a purpose. Every piece of nature plays a role in the bigger picture.They were all brought into existence for a reason, so why was I?