1. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk.
2. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm crazy. The tenth is just humming.
3. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
4. You should always knock before opening a fridge, just in case there's a salad dressing inside.
5. A successful man is one who earns more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who knows where to look for such a man.
6. A pessimist is someone who has spent too much time listening to optimists.
7. Don't you hate it when someone answers their own ? I do.
8. My tallest finger loves giving people standing ovations.
9. Every woman should marry an archeologist, because the older she gets, the more he'll love her.
10. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
11. I used to think I was indecisive. But now I'm not so sure.
12. A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation.
13. It's funny how the cost of living is going up but the chance of living is going down.
14. Try calling someone just to tell them you can't talk right now.
15. I am a great housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
16. Is there a connection between candy corn and corn nuts?
17. I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
18. The next time you buy a donut, complain that there's a hole in it.
19. A cookie a day keeps your sadness away, but an entire jar of a day brings it back.
20. I'm not going to remarry. This time, I'm just going to pick a woman I don't like and give her a house instead.
YOU ARE READING
Random randomness
General Fictionrandom stuff. Questions. Facts. Rants. Stupid, stupid spellcheck. You name it, I'll do it. Seriously, I take suggestions. And If you want to know why I write this stupid book, well why not.
