Open House: Sold

Clearly Psychological

"Duckie?" I ask kinda out of breath, probably from the anxiety that something happened, and that's when I realize that I was on the verge of crying, since my voice came out a little broken and shaky

"I'm-I'm sorry. Please, come-come back" I hear him pleading between sobs and I feel my blood getting cold, and my immediate reaction is to swallow hard and then turn around and start running back

"Already coming, duckie!" I reassure him and then hang up

I don't know for how long I was running and how I didn't actually bumbed into anyone or even get hit by cars; All I know is that I should have never left the hospital, not even the floor he's at. As I enter the hospital, still running towards the elevators, I vaguely hear voices behind me asking me to slow down, but, luckily, the elevator's doors open the moment I reach them, so they lose me.

"I'm here!" I exclaim, completely out of breath, as I open the door to his room

"Heyy, u made it! That's my wife, the one I was telling u about!" Carlos says chirply when he sees me and then turns to the nurse that's next to him, who adjusts his IV bag, smiling wide

"What the hell?" I ask confused looking at both of them

"I gave him a tranquilizer. The doctor was afraid that something might happen as he was crying uncontrollably" The nurse explains. When I open my mouth to talk, I hear talking from somewhere outside the room, so I take a look. Apparently, the voices asking me to stop running were 2 security guards, who finally caught up to me, and now the receptionist is trying to explain to them that I'm harmless and I was just running to my husband. They take a look at me for a few seconds and then give up reluctantly

"Well, I'm here now, get him out of it" I say, getting back on track with the conversation

"I can't, the antidote will strain his heart. It has to pass through his system on its own" she replies and I sigh. When I look at him again, he waves at me, still smiling. I smile back, with tears in my eyes and walk up to him. 

After the nurse leaves, I sit on his bed, next to him, and he scoots a little over to give me room, and I adjust my position, putting one arm over his head.

"Your face is red" he notices, as I lean in to kiss his forehead

"I was running" I reply softly, starting to play with his hair

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare u"

"I know u didn't. Both times. I'm sorry I made it about me..."

"U didn't; it was about u...it's always about u" he says and I look down

"No! In a good way! My whole life revolves around u. It has since the day I picked u up at that bar"

"It shouldn't...u're your own person"

"U are too, but your whole life revolves around me and the kids"

"Well, it's my job as a mother"

"That sounds like internalized misogyny" he comments and I chuckle

"I don't mean it like that. It's the maternal instinct. U feel the need to take care of everyone. And I like taking care of u and the kids"

"And I like taking care of u, in any way I can. I want to take care of your needs and keep u happy, because that's what u do for me too. Not like an obligation though!"

"I know, yeah. And I really appreciate it, but if it means putting your life in danger, I prefer to not have all my needs met. Having u around is all I need"

"Well, we all know what happened, though, while we didn't have sex" 

"That's another thing. We both know that we can achieve intimacy without penetration. I know it's different when there's penetration, but it's not a big deal if it doesn't happen often. It's purely psychological...let go of that stress and everything will fall into place..." I explain softly, stroking his chest with my free arm

"U're probably right..." he says, while yawning

"Sleep, duckie. I promise I won't leave again"

"I'm afraid I won't wake up..."  he says shily

"U're absolutely fine. U will wake up and we'll go home, ok?"

"Ok...but, hey, even if I don't wake up, I will be happy that this was the last thing I experienced; u looking at me with all that love, while stroking my hair and chest. There's no better way to go" He says, looking me deep in my eyes

"My God, u sound like an old man. I don't like when u're under sedatives..." I say and he frowns

"Come on, get some sleep. I'll call Phill to arrange your leave"

"Did u tell the kids?"

"God, no. They're coming back in 2 days anyway, let them enjoy Italy a little longer..."

"Aurora will be so mad we didn't tell her"

"I can handle her...she won't stay mad for long, she'll understand that this was hell for me. But let me worry about that"

"Sounds good, yeah" he agrees sighing and then pushes his lips, making me smile, before leaning in again, to give him a soft kiss. 

~~~

At some point, I leave him alone and go get something to eat. When I come back, before I get back in the room, his doctor stops me 

"Mrs. Fernández?

"Yes? Everything ok?" I ask with wide eyes, starting to panic

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare u. I just wanted to tell u that from the looks of it, your husband will be able to return home" she says confidently and I sigh in relief, putting my hand over my left breast

"Thank God! I can't stand seeing him on a hospital bed, he's too young for that..."

"I agree. If he's a little more careful, I'm sure he'll live a full life!"

"Well, I hope that this little stupidity will knock some sense into him. Or at least will make him understand that ED pills can do more harm than good..."

"Oh! That reminds me: We run every test possible on your husband, just as a follow up, nothing different than what he had done when his ED started. Of course, they showed nothing unusual."

"Ok, and?"

"His ED is clearly psychological. But the thing is, the pills only really help when there's a medical underlying cause. Because when your mind is just stuck, the extra blood circulation won't solve anything"

"What are u saying?"

"I'm saying that the pills sure did their job, but only because by taking them, he believed that they would help, so he calmed down. He said he hadn't taken them for over a week, and I believe him. That's why he had the heart attack; because he didn't need them; he was excited for your anniversary and what it'd bring, he took twice the recommended dosage after a week of not having gotten any, he didn't have a problem having and/or maintaining an erection, and his heart thought this all was too much..." She explains and I process it

"So, what? I have to be careful not to excite him too much?"

"No, not at all. He can handle excitement, don't worry about it; he just needs to know his limits. When something starts feeling off, he has to stop, monitor his blood pressure...But don't think too much into it. U don't need to change anything in your every day life. Only to help him understand that needing to slow down and take a few deep breaths doesn't mean he's weak"

"I'll try...U're sure, though that he can resume his usual activities?"

"As long as they don't strain his heart too much"

"Honestly, he just goes to work, occasionally dances salsa and bachata and has sex with me. Which isn't very ordinary, but I certainly don't chain him up from the ceiling"

"Well, he can do all that without fear. The only thing that might be dangerous, honestly, is picking up something new; but, generally, resuming his every day activities is something we encourage, because his body is used to them. And if they start becoming dangerous, his body will let him know..." she says and after that she lets me get back to him