moonflowers and jasmines

• twenty two •

merrick was now walking in the trace of their date. pran said something like, "places hold memories, and memories hold feelings, and the feelings are what guide you to where your heart truly belongs." his friend appeared like a philosopher when he uttered it with a threshold of conviction.

following the words of the impromptu sage, he walked all the way starting at the swing. it was almost the same time of the day, as it was two days ago. the sun cascaded an orange glow adding a shine to all the plants. from the swing, he could roughly visualise a shy jihan in a beige sweater and a nervous merrick in a grey button-up meeting each other. he recalled how he had put in effort to look presentable for someone for the first time.

as he continued his path, he paused at the cafe to get a special drink--bubble tea. he sat in an empty seat, away from the one that the duo had sat the other day. it was now occupied by two men in their thirties and a cheery little boy seated on one of their laps. a thought stirred within merrick, thinking they were a happy family. they looked awfully similar to one of his deepest desires buried in the depths of his subconscious. he recalled how merrick and jihan had sat there, stealing glances overtly, while also sharing things about each other. now that he thought of it, somehow jihan was the first person he had opened up a bit of his past to.

also, that was when the shy coffee bean had called him "darling," with so much boldness. dang. he still had ripples.

and then he stopped at the souvenir shop where merrick stepped up his uncalled flirting game, and somehow led to their almost their first kiss; his first kiss at least.

and finally, he arrived at the flower shop at the street corner. the floral scent wafted to his nostrils, and the vibrant hues of the flowers brought him back to the time when they becrowned each other in beautiful flower crowns. the memory of him sneakily planting a kiss on the beige flower crown bearer's hand had bloomed in his mind.

"thank you, my love," gosh, he was so cheezy.

he left that place, walking along the street with his hands in his pocket.

it was just one day, one evening. yet, it held a galaxy worth of memories and feelings. every single moment they spent was beautiful. it was what it was--a simple date, a simply dressed couple, indulging in the simple joys of life. a smile spread across his melodramatic self. how wonderful would it be if merrick and jihan could be like that always, spending simple serene moments together like two young boys in love.

he continued his way and he paused at the club, you know, where things didn't go as well.

but that was when he spotted a familiar figure lurking outside the club. a lean figure, roughly 5 foot 7, wearing a fitted shirt paired with slim jeans, both in black. a couple of chains hung loosely from his belt hole to the back pocket. the purple neon light cast on his face added an alluring glow to his otherwise gentle appeal.

inadvertently, his legs carried him as if he was a feather, and landed him right next to him.

"jihan?" he called out, causing the called one to flinch. his lips pressed into a thin line, as he dully greeted him.

"what are you doing here?" he asked the younger boy, almost in an accusatory tone. like he was investigating a criminal.

"well, it doesn't take a genius to know that i'm obviously here to club. it's a nightclub, and i want to drink," he retorted.

"no."

jihan tensed. "let me tell you merrick, i'm tired of other people deciding the way i live my life. drinking is fun. look at the people dancing, enjoying their lives. i want to experience the highs at least once in my life. one sip isn't going to hurt"

one sip. one stupid desire to experience a so-called high. and one stupid high that strips off one's brain cells and eats them up until they turn into a monster. bitterness slithered into merricks nerves. "which idiot said that!? all it takes is one sip for you to get accustomed to it. one sip that leaves you wanting more."

jihan scoffed. "what is it to you? let me do what i want."

a tinge of annoyance emerged in his tone as he rutted off. "there are tonnes of other ways pleasure. drinking this darn liquid is not the right one. problems are the only thing it gives. and trust me jihan, i do not want you to go through prolonged hell because of one reckless decision."

"then, make me," he spilt out.

merrick arched his eyebrows, not quite comprehending what the boy ahead meant.

jihan spoke again, now clearly enunciating every word, "you told me right, there are other ways to feel this so-called pleasure. then," he walked forward, only inches between them, "i beg of you to help me know how it really feels."

merrick gulped as he watched the brunette's penetrating stare travel from his eyes to his nose and finally halt at his lips, lingering at the spot.

with a thud, he hit jihan's chest, as the latter had snaked his arms around merrick and pulled him closer.

merrick was pretty much locked in jihan's grasp and in his gaze.

feeling his cheeks staining red, he squinted his eyes close, no longer capable of enduring the intensity of jihan's eyes, which were now even closer.

he knew it. he knew that both of their minds were in sync, each wanting to capture the other's lips. and shortly, he smelt the fragrant scent of jasmines land on his lips.

reflexively, he opened his mouth, his tongue craving the taste. his hands made their way onto the soft brown locks, tugging them lightly, further jamming them together. meanwhile, jihan's arms tightened further. as the younger boy pulled on his upper lip, merrick responded by softly sucking on his lower lip and this process prevailed. by now, he could no longer perceive the floral taste for his saliva had fully ingested in the balm. they finally pulled apart, releasing the breath they didn't realise they had held back. gasping for oxygen, their eyes met slowly.

perturbing thoughts clouding his brain. run. instantly, merrick withdrew from jihan, shaking his head in disbelief. he spared one last glance at the honey-brown eyes before disappearing in a flash.

and he was running away again. like how he sprinted throughout the marathon of his life. like how he ran away from his friend, leaving behind the shards of their fond memories in the wake. perhaps, that was why he had athletic legs--running away from the slightest discomfort without facing it head-on. that's what merrick was.

a coward.