Rescue Me

Chapter One

My eyes shot open before the guilt could set in. My alarm blared it's same old song which brought me slowly back to reality. My heart was racing a mile a minute and I could feel it trying to escape my chest. I tried to control my fast paced breathing, and attempted to forget about the flashback I had. I'm okay, I thought to myself, it's okay.

Finally, my heart rate slowed to its regular pace and I looked at the clock. I knew that if I didn't get out of bed now, I never would. I eventually rose out of my bed, and headed towards the bathroom to shower.

I just have to keep moving forward, I thought to myself as I started the water. I knew that there was no time to dwell on what happened. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, wondering who the person staring back at me really was.

She was a strong, independent woman. She wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. She was the Sergeant of a police force for crying out loud. People were intimidated by her strong presence and personality.

Or, at least, that's what she looked like on the outside.

No one knew the burden she carried around, no one knew that she was actually scared of a lot of things. No one really knew how many nights she would spend alone, wondering "what if" and how many times she replayed scenes in her head.

I shook myself out of the trance I was in before the tears could start to fall and the pain could start to set in. Just keep moving, I repeated, there's no time to dwell. I stepped into the shower as the water was lukewarm enough.

After I had finished my shower and dried myself off, I walked into my room to get dressed. I looked into my closet through my clothes as my towel hung around my slim body. I was able to pull out an outfit that was both comfortable and appropriate for work.

I slid into my blue semi formal shirt, moving it over my torso and straightening it out at the ends. I proceeded to put on a pair of coal colored formal jeans, and grabbed my leather jacket, to match. Finally, I reached for my favorite pair of boots. They fit perfectly and were easy to run in, in case I had to go after a criminal. Afterward I returned to the bathroom and brushed my short, caramel colored hair. After one short, last glance in the mirror, I was dressed and ready, there was just one thing missing.

I headed into the kitchen where I started on a small pot of coffee. I wondered how I would ever function without. As the coffee prepared itself, I grabbed my briefcase full of paperwork which waited for me on patiently on the counter.

I yawned and wished the coffee would be ready, even though I had just put it on. I had trouble falling asleep every night, but when I was able to fall asleep all my dreams were flashbacks or nightmares. Some nights, I dreamt of a dead victim that I couldn't save. Other nights, I had nightmares of someone I loved being murdered. The worst part of the dreams were knowing there was nothing that I could do but watch. Lately, the flashback of the man and the little boy was reoccurring. It always ended the same way and it always gave me the same feeling of helpless in them.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my apartment door. I started towards it and opened it to find my soon to be ex-husband, Michael Houston standing there. Michael was also the assistant district attorney, but I assumed he wasn't here for a case. He looked at me with his emerald eyes and solemn facial expression that he always had, and gave me butterflies as always.

"Michael, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"And a good morning to you too, Carly. We came by because your daughter Maggie asked for you to take her to school," Michael answered sternly.

This man has convinced countless of judges and juries and can't even say no to his own daughter.

"Mommy!" Maggie exclaimed as she came into view, "Mommy, can you take me to school today, please?!" she begged as her soft, porcelain face and deep chocolate eyes pleaded.

"Baby, it's your father's turn to take you to school. You know I have to work, and we have schedule, I'm already running late. But, I'll make it up to you tonight, okay? I promise," I kissed the top of her chestnut-colored, angel-like hair and she nodded, masking her disappointment.

"Alright, go to the car, Magdelyn. I have some things to discuss with your mother," Michael told her, and she walked away to the car. He turned back to me and said, "You have got to be kidding me, Carly. You and I both know that your lieutenant would have understood you being a little late."

"For God's sake Michael, I can't believe you would do that," I angrily ignored his statement, "You just love making me look like the bad guy, don't you? You know that I can't take her to school, why would you do something like that? Why on Earth would you get her damn hopes up?!" I was furious. I wasn't a bad mother, I was just busy, and he knew that. He also knew how to take advantage of that.

He scoffed, "so it's my fault that you can't do your job as a mother and pay the slightest bit of attention to your only daughter? You can blame me for a lot of things, but you can't blame me for that."

I swallowed hard and gritted my teeth, "I don't have time to argue with you. I'm late already as it is. Unfortunately for me, I don't have my very own slutty, secretary to take my calls and cover for me." I passive aggressively directed.

It's been six months since Michael and I decided to split. Things weren't exactly working out, you could say. I was caught up in a really big case, taking down an extremely malicious man. Not only that, but I found that he was cheating on me with his secretary behind my back. Looking back at it, it's quite ironic how he thought he wouldn't get caught, investigating is what I do. After I found out about the affair, it was over. There was no use in going to therapy to try and fix our marriage, it doesn't work like that.

Michael glared at the mention of his secretary, "Right, I forgot how you prioritize, first comes work and then your family.I don't know why I thought this time would be different. It's always the same with you, Carly. I guess I just hoped that today would be the day that you didn't let her down, that today you'd be good enough to call her your daughter. I just hope you know that someday you'll let her down enough to where she won't even care and-"

"She is my daughter. And I didn't let her down, I said I would make it up to her tonight since I'm already running late this morning. So, get out of my way and I'll be at your place at seven to pick her up." He walked back to his car and I shut the door behind him.

I turned back to the kitchen and quickly poured my coffee into an appropriate tall, coffee cup and covered it with a lid. No need for sugar or cream, I took it plain and black. Since I had already grabbed my briefcase, I searched keys for my keys which were sitting on the opposite kitchen counter. I headed out to my car and unlocked the door. I placed my briefcase in the passenger's seat and my coffee cup in the cup holder. I fumbled and put the key in the ignition. I started the engine and drove in the direction of precinct where I worked, desperately trying to put the morning behind me.

Just keep moving forward, I thought to myself again and again, there is no time to dwell.

***

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Comment, vote, and/or share if you did!~Andrea)