It is then I realise, I love that fucking idiot! I love Harry. How? When?
I don't know.
I think I run 2 miles in my converse. I run until I reach Sainsbury. I sit inside my car and scream.
Letting out the anger, the aggression.
I'm more angry at myself for kissing Josh and for Loving a person who doesn't love me back!
Its Secondary school all over again!
"You're a stupid, stupid STUPID person Eugene Lane. You never learn, do you?!" I kick myself.
My phone rings
It has to be Harry calling me right now?!
I look at my phone, confused whether to pick it up or not.
Think think think Eugene! Think!
He doesn't love you. You'd be heartbroken at the end of this. He'd leave you just like Josh did. There's no turning back.
He's worth it.
I slap my subconscious down.
"Hey!" I try to sound excited.
"Hi."
His voice is music to my years. That one word makes me forget the entire day of exhaustion. What happened moments ago. Everything.
That's how I know I love him.
"Are you still at work?"
"Nah, just leaving. What are you doing?"
"Missing You."
I feel the blood rush to my heart and face. Suddenly I feel hot. He's said that many times but this time it feels different.
"I miss you too." I say softly.
There's nothing more than I want for Harry to give me the longest and the warmest hug ever. I just wanna lay beside him and hug him and kiss him.
"When will you be back?"
"In a few days."
"It's been a few days. It's been fucking.."
"Uh-uh No swearing Eugene."
"Sorry."
"I'll be back soon babe, I promise."
Holy Jingles!! He's never called me babe before!
"Er.. Okay."
"Sleep tight. I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
I don't know what this is but this is nice. This isn't a Boyfriend-Girlfriend relationship but I like what it is.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Penelope and I are sat on her bed. I'm on my Laptop going through my College/University references and she's just painting her nails.
"Do you think I could get into KCL?"
"Of course." She blows on her nails.
"Nellie?"
"What?"
"Are you listening to me?"
"I am."
"What about you? You don't wanna go to college?"
"Umm Not really. A Drama School would be nice though but you know my parents would never pay for that."
"You have good grades. You can apply for scholarship!"
"You know Cher? My boss?"
"Yeah."
"She said she could get me an assignment."
"What kind of assignment?"
"A modelling assignment! That's how you get discovered you know! Like Andie McDowell, Jaime King, Lily Cole, Cara Delenvinge.."
There's absolutely no doubt in my mind about Penelope becoming a model. She's got the looks, the height, the figure. She is perfect in all sense!
"Oh my god, Really?"
She nods in excitement.
"That is amazing! Oh god, my best friend, a Supermodel? Damn, No flash photography please!"
I still remember how Nellie and I used to wear (steal) my sisters dresses and walk in front of the mirror doing the famous hand wave. I never rocked the catwalk the way she did.
"You remember Jason from year 10?"
"Oh Lord Yass!"
I remember Jason Statham utterly. It's was Year 9 and He had a crush on Penelope for...I don't know maybe forever?
He literally stoked her. He could bet he knew everything about her, even her Bra brand. So Miley (our friend at that time) and May (another friend) went up to him and told him that Nellie is a vogue model. He was quite hard to convince cause he was so proud of his stalker skills. He did fell for it eventually. They told him that there's this exclusive party and Penelope has invited him as his Plus one.
At first he couldn't believe it due to excitement. When he did, he told the entire school about Penelope inviting him to an exclusive party.
Long story short, we gave him the address to a gay strip club and when he went in.....well.
"He deserved it to be honest." She waves her hand in front of her.
"He was creepy." I scrunch my nose.
I did feel bad for him but Nellie and I had no idea what the evil twins were Up to (Miley and May). We called them M 'n' M. They did drag Stalker Jason out of her life for good. He was clingy. He broke into girls locker room during PE and stole Nellie's Nicker!
We laugh on our past. Our mistakes, our stupidity. We were just kids.
We are now talking about prom. I think I should tell her about Josh. She's the only person who would understand.
"Nellie?"
"Yeah!" She says between her laughters
"I met Josh today."
"What?" Her face morphs from a happy face into a concerned one.
"I ran into him at Sainsbury and then we went for a coffee...."
I tell her everything. Everything except my feeling for Harry.
"And you ran away? You.Actually.ran.from Josh Ryan." It's like she can't believe it.
"I had no idea he'd come up to me after 730 Days and tell me that he loves me. What was I suppose to say?
Hey Josh! Yeah I've been crying blood since you left me and yes I'm stupid enough to do that! "
"Do you love him?"
"Are you kidding me, Hell no!"
Wow, never thought I'd say that.
"Then you did nothing wrong. You told him to stop and you left."
"Ran." I correct her.
"Whatever. Look, you don't have feelings for him anymore. That's what matters."
"But I kissed him back at the club."
"You didn't know that was him! Would you have if you would've known?"
"No." I say softly.
"See! Nothing wrong."
I sigh, "I'm so tired."
"Awe, we should sleep babe. It's midnight. We gotta get to work tomorrow."
Babe...babe..Harry.
I check my phone in a hope that maybe he texted me or maybe he sent me a goodnight message or maybe he called cos he couldn't sleep but nothing.
I sleep that night with my phone, close , hugging it to my chest, hoping he'd call but he doesn't.
