Reactance | James Potter

Chapter 5

  
THE CASTLE FELT cold. Cold, empty, and chilling. Well, to James it did.

To James, the castle had never felt so foreign. As though he had never been inside it before, he was a stranger amongst its barren halls — lost within its never-ending twists and turns —

"C'mon, mate, let's go," said Sirius with a short clearing of his throat. He had been the first to speak. There was an echo of a clap as he brought his palm down upon James' shoulder. He dug his fingers into the material of James' shirt, gripping for the skin beneath firmly.

   He was hoping to ground James, who looked to be lost within his own mind.

   James did not react to Sirius' touch, not even as his body was given a great shake. He was still staring off towards the entryway of the hall, through which Lily had left not minutes before.

   What did he have to do to be worthy of you, Lily Evans? he asked himself that often. It was a continuous, open-ended question in his life and he had yet to uncover any answer. It plagued him. Would he ever be interesting enough for Lily?

"I've got some acid pops in the dorm," piqued up Peter as he glanced around their group, from one solemn face to another. He was hoping to be helpful, not keen on the silence that had overcome his friends. Any sort of desolateness was unusual for them. "You love 'em."

"Nasty," said Sirius in a quip, a curl of disgust to his lip. He finally gave a great shove at James' back, forcing the two of them forward a step.

   James wobbled on the soles of his shoes slightly. His head craned back on his neck as his eyes downcast. Lifeless and dull, he was bracing himself for another shove from Sirius as he was made to walk. The frown that James wore did not suit his handsome features at all; it made him look older than he was as it highlighted the shadow of a beard on his chin in the dim light of the torches on the walls.

   Sirius' hand felt secure on his back: comforting, supportive. It made the rising and falling of their steps feel light and natural, as though he wasn't relying entirely on Sirius' guidance like a crutch. Sirius kept a close pace with James, staying just enough behind him to keep them moving. As they neared the entryway, Peter and Remus fell into line with them. Sirius, however, could not help but send a narrowed glare over his shoulder at Archie.

   Archie still stood motionless in the centre of the hall. He now felt his brow furrow as he watched their retreating figures until they had rounded the corner. Olivia had told them the truth, about how he had no interest in Lily, so why were the Marauders still eyeing him like scum?

   Peter and Remus followed Sirius and James out into the corridor silently. None of them were quite sure what to say in the moment. James had gotten his heart stomped on yet again. Sad, yes. New? Not in the least.

   James had been getting his heart stomped on for a running four years — not that Sirius, Peter or Remus were keeping count. Still, despite facing constant heartache and rejection, James never did seem able to move on.

   Now, mind you, Sirius, Peter and Remus had tried to help James move on. Countless were the number of parties during which one of them would appear from a corner of the Gryffindor common room with a girl on their arm, a girl who would have done anything to get even a minute of "Quidditch Captain James Potter's" attention. But Captain Potter never gave it to them .  .  . not even for a moment.

   James would roll his eyes at his lads, bid the lass a solid nod of his head, and that would be it. Never did they catch his fancy. Never would he even call one of them fit.