Hopelessly Devoted (to a Malfoy)

Summer Lovin', Happened So Fast

July-August 1997, Various Locations, France.

[The following is an English translation of a French letter]

Mademoiselle Granger,

It has come to our curious attention, amidst the ennui of our bureaucratic existence, that you have embarked upon a most singular misadventure — one that paints you as a sorceress of unparalleled audacity. It appears that you have, in a defiant act of rebellion against the shackles of Muggle reality and wizarding orthodoxy, unleashed a force so enigmatic and potent, it has sent even the most stoic of our Aurors into paroxysms of existential doubt.

This extraordinary event transpired, of all places, amidst a bustling Muggle enclave, at the melancholic hour of one o'clock; a time when most of the world rests, save for those who stubbornly defy the norms of sleep and sanity. We cannot help but marvel at your audacity and wonder: are we not all, deep down, yearning to shatter the chains of convention?

And yet, the grand edifice of the International Statute of Secrecy, that hallowed monolith of wizarding law, now lies in shambles at your enchanted feet. And thus, we find ourselves obliged to summon you to a gathering of minds at the esteemed Ministère de la Magie, today, the third of July, at eleven o'clock sharp.

We invite you to join us as we ponder the paradox of power, the futility of rules, and the delicious irony of our shared human condition. Let us, together, contemplate the cosmic hilarity of being both the creators and enforcers of the very laws we are tempted to break.

Enclosed is a voucher for a complimentary baguette and café au lait.

À bientôt,

Analise de Cas

Office of the Misuse of Magic

Ministère de la Magie

Hermione and Draco had breached the International Statute of Secrecy on their first date after all. It turned out that causing minor earthquakes and unleashing colossal beams of light in the middle of the night did have the tendency to disturb the Muggles.

By early the next morning, several Muggles had already contacted their local news agencies to report the extraordinary sight, describing having seen a luminous column of light descending from the sky into the amphitheatre. Convinced that they had witnessed a UFO abduction, the Muggle community was in quite an uproar. (Hermione perfectly understood this rationale, of course, whereas Draco hadn't any idea what an 'OFU' was, nor what sort of connection there was between bright lights, the sky, and kidnappings.)

The French Ministry was forced to spend the following days performing a mass obliviation of the Muggles thanks to the actions of Hermione — who was mortified and ashamed of their irresponsibility — and Draco — who was thrilled and greatly amused by having ruffled so many Muggles.

And so, Hermione and Draco's transcendent night together had been followed by only a brief period of sleep before they were each awakened at nine o'clock sharp by the arrival of a French Ministry owl. They'd both received similarly uncanny versions of the summons, although Draco's had contained an insouciant remark about how his recent actions were a rather fitting tribute to the 'mal foi' — or 'bad faith' — from which his surname originated.

Hermione and Draco hastily convened at their secret beach, the memory of their surreal night still so fresh they were hardly convinced it hadn't all been a dream. They had a few moments to admire one another's appearance — Draco adorned in a crisp grey suit, and Hermione in a white silk blouse and an elegant skirt — before they had to depart. Filled with anxiety and dread at the prospect of their impending punishment, they'd Disapparated hand-in-hand to the Place de Furstemberg, the location of the French Ministry of Magic's headquarters.