Lovers Peace (BOOK 3)

Chapter Twelve

LOVERS PEACE | Dreams, Lies & Audacity

"Chris, nice to see you," Dr. Haze said holding the door open to her office.

He gave her a head nod as he walked through the door. His hood was over his head and his hands were tucked into his pocket as he walked to the black sofa and sat down. His sulky mood plagued the room and she knew today would be a heavy session.

"How are you?" she asked sitting in her seat across from him.

"I'm okay,"

"Are you really?"

He shook his head and removed his hood revealing his blonde messy curls. His eyes were red and bags were under them.

"What's going on Christopher,"

"I had another dream about my mother last night..." he started. "I don't understand why this is coming up out of no where. I hadn't thought about her for years and now that I am, the shit been fucking with me everyday. Now that i'm in a place in my life where I should be happy, it's like she has been haunting me the past few weeks,"

"What was the dream about this time?"

"Same shit from when I was a child. We were in my childhood bedroom on the floor. I was maybe seven or eight, my uncle was still in prison and it was just me and her. We were drawing, she was teaching me how to shade,"

"Was this more so a memory than a dream?"

"Probably," he shrugged. He tried to forget about his childhood as much as possible.

"You have a lot of unresolved trauma that stems from your mother that you haven't came to peace with yet. When we push things away deep down in us to avoid dealing with them, it can manifest in other areas of our life. In this instance, it's dreams. We have to deal with those things at some point and the longer we stem away from dealing with it, the more it hinders us from moving on,"

"I don't give a damn about her, I just want to stop dreaming about her,"

He didn't even realize tears were streaming down his face. He didn't realize until Dr. Haze handed him a tissue. He took it from her embarrassed that he had cried in front of this lady. This happened every time and he hated it even if he did feel slightly better after.

"Whether you want to admit it or not, every child has unconditional love for
their mother. The child in you is still hurt by her abandoning you, especially when you felt she was the one who understood you the most as a child,"

"I hate her, I don't care about her and just want to stop thinking about her. Help me do that,"

"You have to acknowledge your childhood Christopher. All the good and the bad unfortunately. You have built this wall in your mind blocking out that part of your life but that wall is now cracking and everything you tried to push away is coming back
up whether you want it to or not. You have to face it,"

He didn't want to do that. Revisiting his childhood instantly triggered memories of his uncle. He didn't want to relive those memories. His mother leaving him after he killed his uncle
knowing what he did to him, he hated her.

All this shit Dr. Haze was talking he was not trying to hear or do any of it. He would never abandon Kenzo or his unborn child no matter what they did. He would never understand how she did what she did. He just wanted the dreams to stop and to move on with his life.