𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐲 ★ katie mccabe

2 - discomfort

"ARE YOU really considering it?"

Ever since she had returned from London, Maura had asked herself the same question- Was she considering it? Was she considering leaving what seemed to be the most prestigious club in women's football, after barely playing for them, just because she felt a little homesick for a place that would never be the same as when she'd left it.

"Yeah."

That's what the answer seemed to be. There was no other way of putting it. Maura had racked her brain, tossing and turning in her bed, the offer Emma had sent her bouncing around in her head. She didn't have a grasp on it yet. A fingertip, perhaps.

"But I don't know."

But it wasn't more than that. She couldn't make up her mind.

"Are we not good enough?", Mapi joked, quickly being scolded by her girlfriend.

"Maria, don't! This is serious", Ingrid huffed, placing a glass of lemonade in front of Maura. Maura shrugged.

"That's not it. You're great- I don't know where I'd be without this club, these people. But it just... it's not home, you know?"

Maura, truthfully, had never known home. She had caught a glimpse of it in the suburbs of Dublin, in the cozy farmhouse her parents owned, surrounded by her sisters, Saoirse and Aine. But the Shamrock Rovers weren't enough for a caliber like Maura, not the female team, anyways. She had never felt at home in North Carolina, the American dream proving to be a concept that, in no way, applied to an eighteen year old college student, struggling to handle a degree and the stage before professional football. The other students cared mostly about the lifestyle outside of their sport, outside of their education. It wasn't for Maura. She was all about football, at the time, and she felt a little disappointed at the fact that now, she didn't seem to be.

Chelsea had been the closest she had been to finding her home. The house she had bought with Katie, the furniture they had bought to make it a true home, the wordless morning routine they had fallen into-

Maybe, London had been home. But Maura had escaped it before she could get too comfortable, salvaging the next step for her career. It had never been about home. It had always been about football.

Maybe, Katie had been home.

Katie was gone, out of sight (not particularly out of mind), and there was no way Maura was ever going to allow her back into her life. But maybe London would carry a bit of familiar comfort into her life, which Maura, for the first time in her life, desperately seeked.

No one would blame her, after everything she had been through.

"Maura, you need to do what's best for you. No one is going to blame you", Ingrid agreed with the Irish woman's thoughts. Ingrid was a saint. Maura didn't think she deserved to know a person as kind as Ingrid- truly know her.

Maybe Maura would blame herself. But that was a problem for future Maura to tackle. Present Maura would allow herself to seek comfort, just this once. Sighing, Maura dug into her bag, heaving out a stack of papers.

"Is that it?"

Maura nodded. She had printed the contract offer her manager had sent her out, just to feel the raw papers beneath her fingers, to see the words printed on it, black on white, no longer a thought, but a crystal clear option.

Ingrid and Mapi leaned over the contract, investigating it, brows furrowing as they deciphered the words.

"It's a good contract", Ingrid spoke. Mapi hummed.

"Sí. Muy bien", the shorter woman agreed.

"What are you looking at?", a voice suddenly inquired from behind her, and Maura jumped for a second, immediately pushing the contract back into her bag.