Hope

Part 2

Liv could see her whole unit waiting for her- she didn't know what she was going to say to them, even facing them in this second was hard. There were two busses waiting- she assumed Cragen had asked for them before Elliot had- he must've known no one would be coming out of this intact.

"Liv- you good?" asked Fin. Liv didn't have the words to say anything remotely related to what had just happened to her so she just nodded. She turned her head to the side and said quietly "El I need to sit down please."

El gestures towards the bus and Liv shook her head "Elliot please. I need a minute before I have to face it all."

Elliot nodded and guided Liv towards the car he'd arrived in "You're okay Liv" He said gently. She didn't feel good. Her heart was racing and she was fighting off hyperventilating. Elliot went to open the car door and she felt her legs buckle. He grabbed her as a reflex and lowered her onto the ground so her back was leaning up against the front wheel. He said her name in panic but she brushed him off with a weak smile. She sat there for a moment forcing herself to take shaky deep breaths.

"Why are you here Elliot?"

He was taken aback- he knew she was going to ask but he didn't think she would right now. He stayed quiet for a moment, trying to form the words. How did he say he'd regretted leaving her every day after he did it. That she was the first thing he thought about when he woke and the last thing before he fell asleep. That he prayed that she was safe every day of the week. That his marriage had died a long time ago and his heart had been hers for even longer. He knew he'd hurt her in a way she might not be able to forgive. But when Cragen had called him to tell him about Lewis he hadn't been able to get to her fast enough. His blood went cold at the thought of anyone hurting her and it was the wake up call he needed to come back and face up to her. To start taking responsibility for how he felt instead of running away. He wanted to tell her she was everything and she always had been. But all he could managed to get out was "Liv I'm sorry."

He waited to see if she'd say anything and when he didn't he turned to face her. Her head was lulled back against the car and her eyes were closed, her legs stretched in front of her and arms flopped into her lap.

"Liv?"

She didn't move.

"Liv I need you to say something."

When she didn't respond again Elliot touched her arm gently. When she didn't react he panicked. He cupped a hand on her cheek and she was ice cold. Her head was heavy and tried to flop forwards but he stopped it gently. His heart was pounding. He scooped her up bridal style but she stayed unresponsive. "Liv you've gotta wake up" he started moving towards the bus. "C'mon Liv you've got to stay with me okay?" She felt so cold in his arms it made him feel sick. He started shouting for a medic and they swung the doors open to the back of the bus. He placed her down on the gurney but held onto her hand tightly.

"Sir do you know if she's injured?"

"I need you to step back and let us work on her?"

"Do you know what happened?"

They flooded him with questions and he felt helpless with the lack of information he had and the fact he couldn't help her.

"I uh... she uh... I think she was raped. And I think he beat her too but I don't know how badly." He said shakily- saying it out loud made it feel so much more real. He didn't understand how this could have happened to her. She was so powerful, so strong, so kind- how could anyone have hurt her like this.

Elliot sat with his back pressed against the wall as the medics worked on her. Cragen approached the back of the bus which was still open. The look on Elliot's face was enough to tell him Liv wasn't good. The guilt he felt was overwhelming, this has happened on his watch and to Liv of all people. She'd come to be like a daughter to him. She was family and he hadn't been able to protect her.

"She needs to get to the hospital Cap."

Cragen nodded and said they'd meet them there. He slammed the doors of the bus shut and banged twice to signal the bus to leave. One of the medics had already climbed into the cab while the other was setting Liv up with an IV. He could hear the steady beeps coming from the machine monitoring her heart which was the only thing that brought Elliot a small bit of comfort.

The medic had unbuttoned Liv's shirt to put the monitor on her and Elliot flinched at the sight of purple bruising spread across her stomach and ribs. Once the IV was in the medic gestured that he could go back to holding her hand again. He'd never felt this powerless before. The noise of Liv groaning startled him.

"Liv?"

She made another more guttural noise of discomfort and slowly opened her eyes. He could see panic behind them. She was in pain and he watched as her body and face contorted as it set in.

"Liv we've got you. You're okay."

She groaned through gritted teeth, desperately trying to not let it get the best of her. Without realising she was squeezing Elliot's hand so hard she could've crushed bone.

"Can't you give her something?" Elliot questioned the medic angrily but Liv frantically shook her head. She didn't want any drugs, she wanted to know what was happening around her as it happened.

Suddenly the monitor started beeping and Elliot watched in horror as her eyes rolled back and she went limp again. The medic pushed him off of her and started working on her as quickly as he could.

"She's loosing blood for somewhere. It must be internal, the faster we get her to the hospital the better."

Elliot put his head in his hands, massaging his forehead as his brain didn't seem to be able to comprehend what was happening. Tears stung in his eyes and dampened his cheeks which he brushed away furiously before looking up again. He got as close to her head as he could and said anything and everything to her for the remainder of the journey.

"Liv stay with me please."

"Liv you've got to be okay, alright? If you're not I'll kill you."

"Liv, I love you."

He prayed with every ounce of his being he'd get to tell her that for real. That she would make it through this so he could make things right with her.

It felt like an eternity before the got to the hospital but the second they did the doors were opened and Liv was whisked away by a team of doctors clad in blue. Elliot just stood there and watched and they told him to stay back.