➸ AFTER THE STORM

ACT II - WE WERE STRANGERS AGAIN

MORGAN - DIARY ENTRY: MAY 14,2023

The dim light from the street came through the window as I looked out onto the road in front of me as the cars went by.

Lore is the one to break the moment of silence.

"Can you look at me?" He asked, our breathing in sync as I took a breath before I shook my head still looking out the window.

I wiped the tears against my cheek.

I could smell the hint of alcohol on his breath, I rubbed my hand over my face breathing with the motion.

"Please baby look at me." I sighed again, I swallowed down my nerves.

"Now I'm your baby." Turning around to look at him in the eyes.

Lore's body heat near me was a familiar reminder of our past closeness, but also brought up complicated feelings of discomfort and uncertainty.

My emotions rolled off me in waves like I was a part of the ocean, I never knew when I would be high off happiness or when I would be so low that it felt like I was sinking into the ground.

Our eyes meet and the air thickens with unspoken emotion. Lore's dark eyes shine and I forget my pain. His lips twitch, as if he wants to say something, but doesn't. It's a moment that could be mistaken for romantic, but it's over too soon, leaving me feeling confused and longing.

Because in reality I'm am a supposed homewrecker and he a boy pretending to be a man and not knowing what damage he has done and in the end, will continue to keep doing with his sight ignorance.

I looked at him I assumed my eyes screamed sorrow, some tears filled in my waterline but not heavy enough to fall.

"Do you love her?" I asked my voice sounded as if I was asking for confirmation I hoped my voice didn't crack and most would think I asked to see if he would change his mind about us but I asked to see if he would fight for someone like he didn't fight for me to be better for someone else because she deserve that.

Lore looked at me like he was surprised but it was there for a second and then in the next second it was gone it was almost like it was never there at all, "I think I do." He responds and my heart does something but I don't think it breaks we have been doing this since forever so there is no more room for braking.

I swallowed again and put on a tight smile, "Then I think you should try to be better you know, so no more women and half-truths, pet names, late-night calls, and I can't be your rock, she needs to be." I explained to him giving him the keys maybe he would take them and never give them back.

Lore touches my hand and like a muscle memory our hands locked together and it looks like we have been doing this our whole lives taking comfort in such small things that no one would notice to think twice about.

Lore kissed our joined hands, "You think I can be a better man?" He asked like I had all the answers.

"It doesn't matter what I think it's about what you are willing to do." I told him and I went to pull my hand away and he took his free one and caressed my waist.

I rubbed my lips together and breathed out and it's forced, my breath hitched in my throat.

Damn him I thought but don't let the words leave my lips, "After everything and you're still giving me things I don't deserve." He told me, his breath against my fingers as he spoke.

There was a feeling lingering in my gut that told me that I did not believe him but there was some part of me that always would, the sentiment just wasn't as intense as before.

We are at the end of the line, "I always believe in you even when everybody's said I was crazy." I remember all the countless times I was told he was a lost cause.

I raised my eyebrows at him not breaking the eye contact when I said, "So for the love of god don't let me be wrong about you." I almost pleaded with him.

He just looked at me and then parted his lips, "I'm trying." He said and I sighed because I don't know if I believe that or not.

But something in me didn't want to question it so I didn't, "That's good then I wasn't wrong about you." The tears that had filled my waterline had finally dropped.

I rolled my shoulders and broke away from his grasp putting space between us.

To be honest, my brain along with my body was numb and I knew what role to play and I knew I should be doing something else, but I guess old habits die hard.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked me when the silence fell between us again, I ran my fingers there my hair.

"What up?" I responded, wondering if it would be a waste of my time or if he would say something worth listening to for some reason.

I just can't seem to quit him I don't know why maybe it should be studied because this shouldn't be a thing at all.

"Why did you even like me, was it a power imbalance or something?" Lore asked

His question was like a slap in the face. I narrowed my eyes at him and my glare hardened in his direction my brain couldn't seem to make sense of the words he had just said. All I could come up with as a response was, "What." A look of confusion on my face, he looked at me as if what he had just said was something that should be answered.

"What I just want to know." He made it seem innocent but that didn't stop it the string of the unconscious hit.

"No, it definitely was not that and you should know." The look in my eyes didn't leave and the tension was back like it never left.

This is the final straw and everything that I've done wasn't going to change what he saw and how he saw it, this was just blissful ignorance.

I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM, I have been since the beginning the coldness seeps through the space between us and once again I have been shattered and we're strangers again.

"The dead is not the only thing that haunts the living. I miss a person that probably was never there." - VENUS