mrs oumas beauty and the bard

i do(n't)

"heh. twis about the get the surprise of her life, huh kokichi?!"

"you betcha. todays her lucky day!" kokichi pulled out a mirror from his pocket as he checked his reflection one last time. hideous as always. he turned to renny, "you know what to do right??"

renny nodded eagerly, "yup! when you both walk out hand in hand i get the band to play the wedding music!"

"perfect. who knew you had a brain in there?"

renny gave him a look and walked off to take their place. he laughed and began walking towards twis house and knocked on the door. "off i go to actually PROPOSE now!"

twi opened it, frowned, and immediately closed it on him again. he banged on the door this time, to which twi simply yelled out a loud no and ignored him. who the fuck did she think she was?? any girl would be lucky to have kokichi ouma as their man - let alone have him arrange a whole ass wedding for them on their behalf!

the nerve of some people. but alas, kokichi was a man with balls. balls that were qualified in disrespecting woman. now watch my friends, as kokichi uses his full rizz to get his future wife to open the door and run into his arms.

"ahem. PLLEASE PLESASEPLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLSPSLZPLZPZLZPLZPZLLZPLZPZZPL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PELASEPEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"no."

"can i ATLEAST try to argue my case??????"

twi sighed incredibly loudly and reluctantly opened the door, "you have 2 minutes."

"thats way too long." he scoffed, confident in his abilities.

"50 seconds."

"ok wel."

"1, 2, 3...."

kokichi waddled his fat way into the house, plopping down on a nearby chair. "just imagine this," he began, propping his feet up on the table, 

"a batman type evil lair, my servants running around to my demands, my wife sitting on my lap... the kids playing with the dogs - we'll have six or seven."

"dogs?"

"no! children, of course." he chuckled as he stood out of his seat and walked towards her. "and do you know who that little wife will be?" 

twi rolled her eyes. "hard to say - didn't you try to get with my dad a week ago??" 

"you of course~~ ;333333 ~ and wait what she told you about that"

he uh like yeah'd her against the wall and tried to appearing intimidating, but it was incredibly hard when they were both 5'1 - not even the extra boost of his tippy toes would be enough to tower over her.

he did some more eyebrow seizure movements and bit his lip a couple times and oh my god how can someone actually be this ugly like jokes aside have you SEEN HIM IMNOT EVEN TRYING TO BE FUNNY CAN U IMAGINE 

twi swiftly slithered out of his hold and began walking towards her door, ready to get this scene over with. "yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. get out."

"no."

"i saw my dad outside bent over in a skirt." 

kokichi quite literally dropped everything and ran out the door, frantically looking around.

"i was trolling lol get fucked stupid n

the door was swiftly shut in his face.