Vengeance (Updating Weekly)

Part 21

I stroll along the beach, soaking up the sun with the sand beneath my feet. My head is spinning, worse than it was yesterday. Atticus has feelings for me. He wants to be with me. He wants a relationship with me. Atticus Stavros, of all people. He's sweet, caring, attractive, and rich. Isn't that what every girl wants? Thinking about it makes me giddy. Who would've thought I'd ever catch the attention of a guy like that? I mean, Jeremy was hot but he's nowhere near the same calibre as Atticus. And he wants to be with this. I allow myself some time to daydream, seeing the two of us, happily together on this island, or loving on our own, like Catarina and Santos. I picture us in love, cuddling on the couch, making out in the kitchen, having sex on the balcony... It would be perfect — the two of us together. Right now, that's what I want more than anything else, but I can't abandon my goals for the future.

Once this is over, I might finally get to go to Harvard. I could still before the successful lawyer I've always wanted to be. That's all that's tying me to my home country. There's nothing else for me there. I'd have to start all over again, in a new town. I'd have to find another job and hope and pray Harvard will let me in.

Or, I could stay here. I could spend time with my friends, I could be with Atticus, I could live in paradise and still work for the legal team.

The latter definitely sounds more appealing. All that's missing is my law degree. There's no Harvard in Greece. Should that stop me, though? I don't even know if they'd accept me. I'd have to get a scholarship, too. Could I stay here while I figure all that out, or is that just delaying the inevitable? Maybe by then, they offer courses online. Maybe I could live there during the semester, and spend the rest of the year here. My hope starts to rise. That would work. I could have it all. I'd have to see if it's possible to work here only half the year, but if it is, I could use that money to fund my time in the US. It would be ideal. There are just a few small things I have to consider: if Atticus would be okay in a long-distance relationship half the year, if I'm stupid for even wanting to try it, and if I'm okay working for a criminal organisation, siding with who I previously thought was the enemy.

I decide to head over to the docks, hoping to catch a lift to see Catarina. She and Santos could definitely shed some more light on this. I'm surprised to see Angelis there, too, except it doesn't look like he's going anywhere. He sits on the sand beside the pier, staring ahead at the water. Our eyes meet when he notices me approach. He looks rough. He's still in his clothes from yesterday and the bags under his eyes are bigger than I've ever seen. Unlike Atticus, there are no fresh cuts on his face.

"Rough night?" I ask.

"Eh," he shrugs. "Punched my brother in the face. How about you?"

"Kissed your brother."

"Nice one," he snickers. "Catarina is going to kill you."

"Not that brother," I take a seat beside him. "So why'd you punch him?"

"Because I could. Why'd you kiss him?"

"Because I could. Now tell me the real reason."

"Because he's right."

"About what?"

"Everything," he says. "I need to get my shot together. I need to quit drinking. I need to stop destroying myself."

"Well, that's easier said than done."

"I need to get help — professional help," he glances over at me. "You know I get flashbacks about him? When I drink a lot or when I'm real tired, it's like I'm transported back there — back to being a kid stuck on an island with him."

"That's awful," I don't know what else to say.

"I can't sleep because I have nightmares about him, but I can't stay up either, because then I relive it. It's pathetic. It's ridiculous. I can't keep living like this. I'm going to end up killing myself, and then I'm just giving him exactly what he wants."

"Why the sudden drive to change? Did Atticus say something?"

"He said I was a bad influence — that I should've stopped you from drinking so much."

"Oh." They argued over me. "I mean, that's not really in your control. Things definitely got out of hand last night but there's nothing you could've done about it."

"I know that, and he knows that, too. He was just in a shitty mood."

"That was probably my fault," I admit.

"No, he was just worried about you, and that just made it worse," he explains. "I see what Santos and Catarina have, and what you and Atticus obviously have, too — that connection; someone you'd get so worried about, it pissed you off. I want that. I want to get married someday. I want to have that connection with someone, but it's just not going to happen if I keep this up. I can't be the husband I want to be if I can't even sort my shit out."

"Hey, you're a good guy," I respond, forcing myself to dismiss his comment about Atticus and I. "Whoever you marry will be lucky to have you. You deserve to be loved and I have no doubt you would make a great husband. If you feel you need to make some changes to get there, then I think that's great. You've set a goal and you're already working towards it."

"I just need him dead. I can't really focus on anything else right now."

"Well, we're working on it."

"Thanks, Erin," he gives me a small smile. He hesitates for a second before continuing. "He doesn't want to be with you until it's over, does he?"

I immediately know what he's talking about it.

"Something like that," I respond. "He doesn't want to influence my decision to work for you or not."

"That's Atticus for you — always fucking right."

"Yeah," I chuckle. "It's fucking annoying, isn't it?"

"The absolute worst."

I part ways with Angelis soon after, heading over to see Catarina. Santos is standing outside by the entrance, speaking Greek on the phone. He pauses when he sees me, quickly telling me Catarina is in her dressing room. I find her by a rack of dresses. She greets me with a smile, but I can't reciprocate it. Instead, I burst into tears. I tell her everything — what happened with Atticus, my fears about seeing Vassilis again, the decisions I have to make... Everything I've kept bottled up in my mind comes pouring out. Catarina comforts me, reassuring me the best she can.