Dirty Thoughts (l.s.)

Part 1

"...I just left your bedroom, give me some morphine. Is there any more to do?"

He stopped to write the words down in his falling apart poor notebook.

"Sounds interesting," Niall said walking back from the kitchen. "Is it acoustic?"

"Do I have any other instruments?"

The man dropped on the other end of the couch with a bagel in his hand. "I mean if you did have any other instruments, man," he chuckled.

Harry looked at his phone and sighed. He had to go, but that song wasn't even close to coming out of his head. His fingers hurt from all the chords and strumming and he was still nowhere.

"Is Ethan coming tonight?" he asked putting the guitar down.

"Don't know, he's being a bitch lately," Niall mumbled while chewing. "I know that we've been together for like five months now but geez is he already that bored?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Niall was always like that, acting like nothing ever bothered him. The way he intentionally talked about Ethan like the guy was just a fling, like his eyes didn't light up every time he saw Ethan, like every love song Niall wrote in last six months wasn't about the guy, only showed Harry how serious it actually was. "How could anyone get bored with you? I'm living with you and I never even know what I'm walking back home to."

He stood up stretching his sides and groaning a bit, too tired to sit in one place, too reluctant to actually go anywhere. Was there even a point in going if the main reason he was doing it was so he wouldn't need to work all the time and have time for his writing, when in reality he felt the most inspired right the moment he had to go?

"Are you home tonight?"

Niall's voice was empty of any expression, but Harry practically felt his observing eyes. He told Niall couple of weeks ago. Maybe it was a mistake, but he needed someone to know where to find him if shit hit the fan. And he had a true scare the night before he told Niall. The guy pulled a gun on him. Drunk and cocky he was showing off and Harry was sure for a very long second that no one would even find him here in that dodgy hotel down the street from the bar. He already had guys beating the shit out of him, but the feeling had been somehow different to what he felt that time around.

So, he needed Niall. No matter how humiliating it was.

"Going to that hotel, the one Ethan had that ceremony of his."

"Fancy," Niall nodded.

Harry heard 'safe' and was glad to get somewhat of an approval. He was obviously kidding himself thinking Niall would actually approve any of this but a man can dream. He took some time putting himself together in his bedroom. The man was aware of his problem in form of a pile of clothes on the floor. He just had no time or will power to put it away.

"Do you want me to pick you up after?" Niall called from the living room when Harry was already at the door.

"No, I'll take a cab." He won't. "I'll be back soon anyway." He didn't know about that.

"Text me on your way back, H."

"Will do!" he singed closing the door.

Summer air rushed to his skin with humid warmth. Harry decided on using tube, in constant need of money he had a strict policy against cabs. The bag was cutting into his shoulder but weighted close to nothing. Not to be dramatic but it was his own cross he was carrying. Not literally, those things were way too kinky even for him. And he wouldn't carry it. Only for some really good money, maybe.

The hotel lobby was full of tourists given the time of the year. American accent was floating from the reception when he walked past it. Some group of students his age was laughing about something near the elevators. Harry took his phone out to check the floor number and gave a firm nod to the hotel security guy Mark. He would be the only person to identify the body in case anything happened.