Innocence Lost: Ashton's Story

Chapter 4

The next morning I unexpectedly woke up quite early (5:23 AM to be precise). I decided to make sone breakfast and go talk to Ella. I unlocked my door and crept down to the kitchen. I looked around to see if any doors were open. No any that i saw. I didn't move a muscle while I tipped out the door. I got to the stairs and i touched the first step. I heard it screech and i stopped myself from moving evenmore. I stopped and listened if anyone woke up. I didn't hear a pin drop and I continued to tip toe doen the stairs.

I took the flashlight from the dresser in the living room and filled it up with two new Duracell batteries. I screwed the cap back on and turned yhe light. I went in the kitchen and slowly open a cabinet ob the left corner of the room. I took out a bag if Cheerios and closed the cabinet. I grabbed a bowl from the drain board and filled the Cherrios into the bowl. I put the box back in the cabinet and slivered up the stairs. I checked my parents room to see if they were awake. They weren't so I slowly closed the door and went back into my room. I locked the door and turned on the computer. I sat around eating my Cheerios waiting for the login screen to appear. It finally appeared and I entered in my password and went to the chatroom. I checked my messages and i saw that Ella had already begun the conversation.

"Sorry i was gone forever in a day. I had to get breakfast." I responded 

It took her quite a while to respond back to me. I wandered in my room waiting to hear a beap on my computer; that flashing red light. I kept myself busy while I waited. I cleaned out my drawer. It was kinda worth it considering I found $10.00 and a necklace I haven't worn in ages. I also organized my notebook and bookshelf. 

It  was 5:47 A.M, Ella still hasn't responded back to my message. Maybe she was mad that I "left her". I don't how I supposedly left her but maybe she was mad that I didn't answer right at the second she sent the message to me. That completely sound idiotic. And a tad bit cheesy. Just as i was going to loose hope i saw the tiny red light flash and the beeping. I felt a bit of excitement and relief.  I walked to my computer and read what she sent me.

"Hey beautiful. I'm depressed" she said. I responded back 

"Why sweetie?" I said 

"Cause my mom told me that I'm worthless and that my dad told me to drink bleach. I went into my room and cried. I took the deep end of my scissors and dig it deep into my skin." She said 

"Aw Ella. I love you so much. Why don't run away." I said

"Metaphorically?" She asked

"Yes and no. Just find a place where you feel like your never alone. But run away to someone who cares about you." I said

"Like you?" She said

I was going to reply yes and then I remembered what my father had told me. Don't trust anyone online and be careful. 

"Someday." I responded 

" Why someday? Why not now, do you really not want me. Am i just another slut? Are you going to use me? Cause if you are I don't want it. I've been used my whole life and I don't want to find put that your another person who sees me as a whore. I really thought you were different. But i guess your not...." She said 

"No, it's just.."

"Just what?" She said

"My parents. They don't know that we're talking. If they see someone they don't know at their door, I don't know how they would react. I don't want to loose you. That's why. Please don't think that I'm like that Ella. Because I'm not. I'm really not like that. I care about you too much."

She message me back for a while. Maybe i did loose her. I feel so stupid. She just slipt out of my jands loke sand. We were slipping and cracking like the pavement in the ground. It was all my fault. I went to the bathroom. When i got back to my room, i see there was a new message from Ella

"I'm sorry. I should have trusted you. I was so stupid for not believing you. I can trust you. In fact at this point, your the only person i can trust. Everyone else has either ran away or stepped in the shadows. They say I'm crazy and to wild to handle. They don't eant to deal with the animal I am. I just want someone to see under my cuts and bruises. You see that I'm beautiful right?" She said

I felt a tiny hole inside of me. I never knew that I was her only piece of hope left. I felt a tear drop on my cheek. I felt special by another person. Sure i was looking ved by some people but this felt different. I know i was dating Lilly but I didn't want to let Ella go too.

"Now I can't make promises or vows but i will stay. I really truly think you speak beautifully. I love you..." I said

"I love you to Ash" she said

"Stop, your going to make me cry" i said

 "Oh god. I'm sorry, don't hurt me or never talk to me or-". I responded back before she could finish.

"You need to stop worrying. I will never leave. Lie we promised" I said

"But people tend to break the promise they make." She said

"Because they don't know what they are getting into sometimes. I know what I'm doing." I said

"No you don't. I'm different." She said "I have to leave you for now" 

"Bye. I'll see you soon." I said

I turned off my computer and glared back at my clock. It was 7:26 A.M. I can't believe were were talking for over an hour. I guess she was serious about me to never leave. I heard footstep step from my parents room to the hall to my room. My mom opend the door. She was wearing her turquoise robe and while slippers.

"Ashton are you okay?" She said

"Yeah mom." I lied "I'm fine." 

"Okay." She said "Get dressed and come down for breakfast" 

"Okay" i said

Truthfully I wasn't fine. I was worried. I didn't want hurt Ella but I didn't want to break Lilly's heart either. I was lost in all my thoughts.