Innocence Lost: Ashton's Story

Chapter 7

Ella soon forgave me for not talking to her for almost a whole month. Going back to school wasn't a pleasant experience. She changed me and everyone said that I changed. I lost many friends from last year, I could really care less, I only needed Ella and Michael. 

Michael walked up to me after that miserable first day of school. I felt his cold hands on my shoulders covered in my grey sweatshirt.

"Hey dude. Want to hang out?" He asked 

"Alright" I smiled

We walked back to his house on the steep dirt road. We got to the stoop and left our bags near some chairs on the stoop. Michael unlocked the door and we walked in. He went into the kitchen and grabbed to bottles of Arizona's ice teas. 

"Thirsty?" He asked

I took the bottle and we walked upstairs. He sat on his chair and I sat on the bed. It was really awkward. We uasally always started a conversation by now but it was dead silent.

"Dude, are you okay?" He asked

"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied

He rolled his eyes at me "No you aren't"

"How do you know. Maybe I always look like ok mad." I snapped back

"Okay! You didn't have to give me an aditude." He snapped

"No one want to be around me." I frowned

"I don't blame them" I said under his breath

I can't believe he just did that! I mean we were best friends and he says something like that under his breath like that! 

"I heard that." I said giving him a stern look "What does that mean?!?!"

"What I'm saying is that you spend too much time with that girl and you lost that connection with real human beings-"

"Hey! She's a real person-" I yelled

"NO SHE ISN'T! ASHTON SHE'S A CPU! A CATFISH BEHIND A SCREEN!" He yelled back

"Maybe your just heat hat you don't have someone who doesn't love you." I said

I seriously regret saying that.

"You just didn't go there. Get out" he frowned

"Michael i didn't mean it like-" 

"GET OUT! You just lost my respect. Don't get near me and don't think about me. You are the most disgusting person God created." 

I walked down the stairs and oped the door. I grabbed the bag from the stoop and started walking the dirt road to home. I was looking through my bag and found a picture of me and Michael. My heart wrenched and ripped it into small disgraceful ashes. I fell to my knees and cried loudly in the lonely field. I was alone. I was stupid. I was so wrong about all those unforgivable things I said. I just wanted to leave everything behind.

I got home and unlocked the door. My dad was standing at the door. That's never a good thing, 

"Where were you?" He yelled

"Why didn't you tell us" my mom yelled 

"You need to be more responsible" my dad yelled

"You need to stop going places without us knowing and-" 

Their words just drained into my mind. It was too much. It was too much. I just lost it

"STOP!!!!" I screamed I just lost my common sense " JUST GO AWAY. ALL OF YOU!"

I ran up to my room and slammed the door behind me. I pressed my self against the door and I heard the yelling of everyone. I sank down and banged my head against the door. I kept telling myself it was going to be okay. I was going to be fine. It was all gonna work. But then I realized; it was going to crash. I'm not going to be okay. I'm just a train wreck. I was just done. I let my weight off the door and I gave up.

My parents yelled at me and told me to be better than I was.

"Please leave me be. I'm not alright. This isn't the time." I mumbled

They just walked away. Nothing to say. Like they you didn't even care

"Ashton, we're not mad, just extremely disappointed with you." My mom said

That's was what got me. I just want to leave so they didn't have to deal with me. So  they didn't have to deal with me. I took pain medication and swallows the whole bottle and cried.

I slowly felt myself falling asleep and then I went black.

I was alone everyday I went to school and talked to no one. That tried to help me but I just told them I was just tired. They fell for my lies which was sad. I walked home alone everyday by myself. I only had Ella. She was like me. She understood everything. I only trusted her now.  She awl atd told me that it's okay to be sad. Sad people always had each other.

One day we had a another deep conversation. I told her:

"I wish we could be together"

"It's possible. I want to be with you. maybe  we can meet."

"How? No will accept our connection."

"Maybe I can meet you a block from your house"

"Okay."

"Where do you live?"

I was about to tell her. I stopped maybe this was wrong. Maybe everyone was right. But then I thought again. I'm finally happy. I was tossed up. But then I decided to choose the way that was right. I told her.

"I can't wait to see you babe"

"Me too. I got to go. Bye, I love you"

"I love you too. Bye"

I felt so happy. I finally got to meet the person who makes me special. But I just felt something was wrong