The Untamed Anger

Living with Narcissist

We stepped into my car, with our 4-year-old nephew in the back seat. I drove out of the parking space and headed towards the space our sister parked her car. With the engine still running and a view of an oriental mosque in front of us, the man next to me started the conversation, or at least that is what he called, a "conversation".

"Where have you been earlier? You didn't even read my messages," he uttered.

"I already told Zack that I will wait downstairs after withdrawing some cash from the ATM," I answered.

"Who is Zack? Your husband?!" Sean asked, as his voice became harder and harsher.

'Here we go again...,' my mind said, and without thinking, I started banging the steering wheel with my two hands. There was this deep voice babbling next to my left ear and I couldn't compute any words that the voice tried to convey. It sounded heavier with anger every second it got longer in sentences. Even when I prayed that each sentence would be the last, the next one came in.. and next one.. and another... and...

'I've had it!' I opened the door next to me, and pause for a 2 seconds. If he stopped nagging, I would stay put. Nope. The noise was still buzzing. I had to get out, and that's when I stepped out, trying to get some air and catch my breath. My breathing was getting heavier with every word that I heard from him.

Sean started shouting so loud from his seat, and I hardly noticed that our nephew at the back seat started crying. "Come back inside, you Motherfucker!!"

"Yeah.. I'm a mother fucker. What else??" I replied loudly from outside the car.

"Our problem should only be between us! Not to be known by others! Stupid!! Crazy bitch!!" He continued, totally unhappy that I was so brave shouting back at him from outside where everyone could hear.

I just stood firmly outside, in the middle of the parking lot. By then, Sean's family had started hearing someone shouting, but no idea where it came from.

Suddenly, "HOONNKKKKKK...!!!" Sean hit the car horn after he banged the dashboard of my car. He was turned to stare at me with his furious eyes and such heavy breathing, like a dragon ready for war.

I just looked back at him like a frozen cat feeling somewhat numb for a fww seconds, and looked away at the oncoming family members. My mom-in-law holding her fourth baby granddaughter, Sean's sister stepping forward towards me with a shock on her face, and Zack moving around acting like a lost duck as usual.

Somewhere between getting out of the car and staring back at him, two figures came close to me. From their attires, I knew they were the security guard at the hospital where we parked our cars. I couldn't make out what one of them trying to say. I only remembered that I apologised to him, without any reason to. It wasn't anyone's fault. Things just happened. Even though nobody knew yet at that time what actually was happening.

Sensing that the chaos has been triggered, Sean unvoluntarily stepped out of the car, slamming the door in the process. He continued shouting and calling names, with his normal gesture of protruding his witchy boney index finger pointing on me. It felt like that possessed finger was poking me hard on my face, on my chest, and protruded my heart, but he car was between us.

I was still numb, as how I always had been when we got into a fight. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any fear anymore, because the truth was going to be unveiled. I didn't feel any shame, because the world needed to know. I didn't feel any sadness anymore, because I've had enough!

Sean continued shouting and pointing, and getting closer and closer to me. I could see that his mind and body were contemplating whether to confront me head on or not. He stepped up, then back, and stepped further up and then back again. Only when I responded that he really wanted to come close enough to punch me.