The Untamed Anger

Bring it On!

The dawn broke and we were still in bed. He went to bed around 3AM, hence the laziness in the morning. The sound from outside our bedroom door told me that almost everyone has started their day - Leann fussing over her kids, Mom fussing over her kitchen chores. It felt like love is everywhere in this house.

The last motion made by the body next to me made me woke up and headed for the shower. I prepared myself to face the day, and I was determined to at least start working on my office tasks. I was supposed to be at home today, but things happened that I had to stay back for just another day at Mom's place. Uncle Wayne was hospitalized last night, and I had to visit him this afternoon before leaving. Staying another day made Mom happy, too. I guess she loved me like her own daughter.

After helping myself with breakfast, I cleaned the dining area, checking if there were any other house chores I could help with, then I reached for my laptop computer to start my work.  Leann switched on a Thai ghost story on the television, and my attention was divided into two. I needed that, anyway, since I was used to multi-tasking. I needed the 'noise' so I could reduce the stress in grading the student's report in the computer.  All went well, until Sean woke up and came out from the bedroom.

Around the same time, Mom received a call from her old friend, who was on her way to visit us with her family. Upon hanging up, the whole house started to fuss around again, preparing for the visitors. Without even looking my way, Sean uttered, "Go and help around with the preparation. There must be something you could do in this house. This is not the time to do your work."

Appalled, I stared gaping at him. 'He was just there for like a second, not knowing that I've done my part, and now he's suggesting that I've never helped?!' My thoughts were running wild, but my voice uttered, "Yeah, I know. I just have this little part I have to complete before shutting this down." Yet, my response was to no avail. Sean just walked away, not even glancing at me. 'Is he in a trance, or something?' He just walked away to smoke outside.

I was so unhappy. I was grumbling and mumbling while making my move, asking Leann if there's anything I could help with. Leann understood her brother well, as she lived with one just like him - her own husband. I helped Leann with some tasks, and in between that I went to shut down my computer. As if beckoned, Sean reappeared in the dining area.

He did look like a lost person. Without even a single effort of handing a helping hand around the house, he just walked into his room. "What?! He made me feel bad for not helping in the house, but he just walked into his room doing nothing? What is wrong with him?!" I started asking out loud.

Sean was in the room for quite some time, and it made me wonder what he was doing. 'If I go to the room now, it's going to be a war,' my thought said. I was still feeling angry at his attitude. I was always easily offended every time he threw an instruction onto my face as if I didn't have a brain or consideration of helping around. I just hated it every time he did that. He never even saw me doing any work, and he just wanted to blame me for not doing anything. Mom never had any issue with me being busy with other things. She hardly wanted to be disturbed in the kitchen, anyway.

Once the computer was switched off, I reluctantly went to the room. My heart was giving me some kind of vibe, and it was not good. 'I have a bad feeling on this,' my heart said.

Upon entering the room, I was right. Sean opened his mouth, and reinstructing me about helping around the house and not focusing on my work. He was indicating that I was wrong. 'I've had it!' my thought rebelled. I responded to him in a manner that would sound rude in our culture where wives are not supposed to 'answer back' to their men. It was considered as disrespectful towards the man in the family. I wasn't shouting, I was merely explaining what I was intending to do, and that I have helped in the house.