April 8, 2024
I'm the problem.
Everything seems to be perfectly fine.
That's the thing I cannot accept.
Everything's fine, so the only person I can blame is myself.
It's tiring to be this anxious all the time when the one that causes it is the same who thinks they deserve it.
I'm the problem.
I'm always scared that everything I do is wrong.
I'm always scared that a small thing could cause me the chance to love and to be loved.
In my mind, there is no room for error.
Error is equal to defeat in life.
And defeat in life...
Well, let's just say I'd rather do it myself.
I'm the problem.
Every time I do something "not wrong" but may still be "wrong" in the eyes of another,
It's still wrong.
And being wrong equals being unlovable.
And being unlovable,
Well, I deserve it.
I'm the problem.
Time keeps moving at a pace I cannot catch up with anymore.
I am kidnapped by my past and now I have Stockholm syndrome.
A love and hate relationship,
But like they said, it hurts good.
And pain equals peace.
Because my peace is no longer the "quiet",
It's the loudness that distracts me from the quiet.
I'm the problem.
Nothing is happening, nothing is wrong.
But my brain keeps breaking my heart.
It comforts me to know that though I'm in pain,
At least I'm not numb.
I'm the problem.
Because everything and everyone around me seems to be fine,
They've accepted the facts, and they're moving on.
Am I that weak to drown on and on?
All I want is to experience the right description of peace.
And all I want is to end the problem.
《ArwenSwritt
YOU ARE READING
A Sort of Diary
PoetryThis is a "diary" of emotions (some personal & some random thoughts I written), not a diary filled with pointless routines within a day. And I would like to share this with all of you because another path to self healing is through acceptance and be...
