Kill Me Like A Lover « Enver Gortash & The Dark Urge [fem+named] » 🔞 ✔️

Brain worms having a field day.

The night is slowly creeping in, but I'm in no state of mind to sleep. I pace and I rake my hair and I groan. My friends are watching me with concern in their eyes. I can't blame them—I must look like a lunatic, more so than usually.

I feel like I'm going insane and for a whole new set of reasons than before.

What were we?

Gortash got into my head and now he's refusing to leave. Was he just trying to mess with me? Did he notice the unmasked disdain in my face and decide to make my skin crawl in revenge? He must know I only have red fog in my brain where my past should be. And he looks just like the kind of man who would lie about it to make me nauseated. No way I've ever let those grubby hands touch me.

Yet...

I can hardly admit it to myself, but nausea is not the full extent of my reaction. I feel as if my own body knows this man. My memory is still a blank page, but something in me recognizes him. Something primal. Something hungry.

The urges I've been having since meeting Gortash have very little to do with Bhaal.

"Honeymuffin, are you still not ready for bed?"

I hear Halsin's soothing voice and immediately feel myself relaxing. I turn to him, grateful for the distraction. He's only dressed in his underpants and the sight of his bushy chest hits a dirty note.

I ignore his question and just press into him, kissing his gentle lips with ferociousness he hasn't experienced from me yet. He's responsive and gives in for a few seconds, but then chuckles into my mouth and drags me off of him by the shoulders to inspect me.

"What has gotten into you, my love?"

I groan, freeing myself from his grip. I always appreciate how sensitive he is to my moods and thoughts, but right now, I would die of embarrassment if someone actually found out what's running through my head.

"I'm just irritated," I lie through my teeth. "Gortash is one annoying son of a bitch. I hate that we have to pretend to work with him. 'Notice the way he just kept us there under the threat of violence, to witness his sham of an inauguration? After everything he said about wanting to be partners? Ugh, I could just..." My fists close of their own accord, crushing the imaginary windpipe.

Halsin chuckles again and runs a calloused palm softly along my jaw in a comforting gesture.

"I know, Nara, I know," he grumbles low, pulling me into a hug. "He irked me, as well. He isn't worth the stress, though. Let's sleep. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow."

But I can't sleep. Once Halsin goes into his trance, it's like he's not here to hold me together anymore. I toss and turn. I grunt and pull on my hair. I try to silence my thoughts with a pillow over my head. It's no use. I know what I have to do to get some peace of mind.

I get up as quietly as I possibly can. I don't bother changing—I don't plan to impress anyone. I just take a small dagger and throw a cloak over my shoulders, so I can hide in the shadows more easily, and sneak out of the inn.

I'm going to make him tell me the truth.

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