Deeper Meanings (on hold)

Warmth

Here i was finally at the boys shared house, it was a lot smaller than i expected and much more welcoming. After the whole saga of 'One Direction coming back to earth' - as all the fans called it - and the 'lets abuse Skylar' we, meaning the boys and myself, finally took off to their house.
I would like to say that i was happy to be here, but i wasn't. Not anymore. I found myself wanting to be back at my big, cold and lonely house, at least there i was left in peace and i knew where i stood in the world. Now i'm just lost, i feel lost. The boys all retreated to there rooms the second we stepped inside the house, leaving me, well on the doorstep. So quickly have they forgotten i existed.

"Sky, aren't you going to come in?" I turn to see Nial standing there, looking at me like i was crazy to just be standing there.
"oh um yes" i mutter
"and skylar"
"yes"
"can you make som-"
"-food, yes Niall i will" i say cutting him off rolling my eyes as that is all the boy thinks about.

I work my way around the house and find the kitchen, what the hell am i going to make? what do you make for 5 super famous boys? i wish i had a manual or something for this situation. I peer into the pantry and see that there is packets of pasta, yep that will do, who doesn't love pasta?
Exploring the kitchen to find all the things i needed took me about 10 minutes, they had no order in the kitchen what so ever! I filled the biggest pot i could find with water and but it on the stove waiting for it to boil. Meanwhile i start chopping the onions and fry off the beef mince, i dice some tomatoes and kind of just throw it all together. As I'm trying to remember all the things i need i remembered that i was forgetting garlic. Garlic is what you need to bring all those flavors together, well that's what i like to say.

The only problem was i couldn't find a garlic crusher anywhere, didn't these boys use garlic. Maybe they are vampires i think to myself. Oh god i really need sleep, like immediately. I spot a large knife and decide to crush the garlic the 'old fashioned' way, as i was pressing down on the garlic with the blade a large thumping noise came from above, i jumped out of my skin as it startled me. A hot pain sliced through the inside of my arm, i must have cut myself when i jumped. I look to see the first trail of blood run down my pale arm and drip onto the floor. Soon enough my arm had a continuous trail of red, i watched the flow as it captivated me, it was familiar. A familiar feeling that felt welcoming in a new and different environment. All i could focus on was this warmth running down my arm, the rest of my surroundings where a blur.  A blur, kind of like my life. A life where i wasn't loved by my parents or had the company of a simple friendship. 

"Skylar! what are you doing" A voice yelled at me "drop the knife" It said again as the figure was slowly coming into focus.
I was now being shaken vigorously so much that my stomach lurched and i almost threw up.
"sto-p-p shak-in-g me" i try to tell him, and he does while pressing down hard on my arm with a tea towel to stop the warmth from oozing out my arm.
"What is wrong with you! I thought we moved past this"
i immediately started going red, not from embarrassment but from rage. How dare he ask me what is wrong when we doesn't even know the pain and grief of my past. How dare he say that 'we' had moved past this.
"There is no we, there is me and then there is you, no we"
"wha-"
"NO, you cant just say that and expect to get away with it, you don't even know why i like the feeling of cutting myself!! to be honest you don't know anything about me. So no 'we' didn't move past this because you don't have any idea or control other this. Back off"
With that i stormed away leaving the uncooked pasta on the bench, i stop half way out and turn back to look at Harry.
"You know what instead of jumping to conclusions next time ask me what actually happened." Then i proceeded to storm off.

I managed to find a bathroom with a over sized bath inside, i run the water and make it has hot as i could tolerate. I sink into the water still fuming, my gaze falls onto my arm where i accidentally cut myself. The once bright red liquid had solidified to form a dark red clump, i scrub it off and then whip the tears that just started to spill over my eyes.
After a while of just sitting there and slowing being morphed into a human prune i finally calmed down from the rage and went into a somber state. Was i really that bad that they had to walk on egg shells around me and jump to conclusions as soon as something bad happens. I didn't mean to cut myself, i just slipped. They don't even know me, maybe if they knew what happened they would understand. But they never will, i'm a nobody and they are all somebodies, they just wouldnt know what its like to be in my shoes.