Louisa lost herself in her own emotions, distancing herself from everyone and everything she once loved. Her ex had finally gotten to her, he did things to her, that she hasn't even wanted when they were still together and all that, in the night aft...
"I love you Lou", he said looking deep into my eyes.
"I love you more than the moon loves the sun. I love you more than any love song could describe you are everything to me. I love you so much it haunted me since we were ten, so I had to finally tell you. You are my world Lou. My sky, my oceane, my forest, my mountains, my sun, my moon, my stars Lou. You are everything to me. They always say that only fools fall as far as I have fallen, but I would be a fool not to fall for you. You are the purest soul that I have ever met and I didn't want to dirty your life with my words, my mind, my everything. But I have to tell you because its killing me. I love you Lou. So fucking much, I love you"
I love you too, so much, the words were at the tip of my tounge but they wouldn't come out.
My Nate just told me how much he loved me and I'm just starring at him. Couldn't he have said it yesterday, or the day before that? I would've told him how much I loved him as well. But today?
I felt the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks, so I turned around and I ran. Of the beach maybe? I don't know. I don't care. Just away from all this, from all these memories all this pain.
I hate me so much for this. Why would I run away?
He'll get the wrong impression now and think that I don't love him back. But I do. I honestly do. But why did he tell me the day Izzy told me she had brain cancer? Why today?
I guess he doesn't know yet. But he will soon. Izzy loves the both of us equally, there'd be no reason for her to only tell me.
I don't want this to happen.
Nate and I were supposed to be high school sweethearts, than go to college together and, eventually marry some day and Izzy should stay by my side until we're old and wrinkly.
She shouldn't have to go through chemotherapy at thirteen. That's not what we planned. And Nate should've told me he loved me on the beach, with a bouquet of flowers, which I mean he did but it should not be the day I find out my best friend is in life danger.
I hate myself so much for overthinking this. I should've just hugged him, told him I loved him too.
But of course I had to ruin everything again and run away.
This might be the stupidest thing I've ever done, and I have a lot of things to choose from.
"You are my world Lou. My sky, my oceane, my forest, my mountains, my sun, my moon, my stars Lou.", why today Nate? I just love you so much. I ruined everything that could've happened between us ever. I am so stupid. I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much. I wanna leave. Forever. For good.
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I cried writing this and I don't even know why Ik its kinda short but its just the prologue
Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading, make sure to comment and vote, kisses, your depressed gal
