paper rings | shinyu tws ✓

fifteen

Both Dohoon and Hanjin stared at each other, urging each other to talk to Shinyu. After awhile, both Shinyu and Sooji came. But Dohoon could sense that the two obviously went on some shit after finally coming back to the clinic together.

"Are you okay?" Hanjin whispered to Shinyu. Shinyu just nodded and looked at Sooji, who was silent. Hanjin could feel a strange awkwardness forming. Usually, there's no peace when Shinyu and Sooji are put together in the same room. But he guessed that today doesn't count, considering that Sooji isn't in good condition.

"Here they are!" The nurse exclaimed, and Sooji's parents came in. Shinyu immediately glanced at Sooji, who's fidgeting with her fingers silently. He observed her as she stood on her own. He stopped himself from helping her.

"Are you okay?" Her mom asked her, putting her hand against her forehead. But Sooji wasn't looking at her, her full attention was on the person whom she hadn't seen for years. Her father looks older now. His fierce eyes look familiar, yet everything except them is unfamiliar to Sooji.

"Let's go home," Sooji coldly replied. She forced herself to walk even though her body wanted to give up so much. She wants to settle this sooner.

There are many realisations that struck her during and after the conversation she had with Shinyu. She questioned herself about whether staying silent was ever the right solution to all the pain she's facing. She realized the things she could've done during all the years of tormenting herself in trying to find love in different places, forgetting that love isn't something that she should find in the first place. Love comes from sincerity, and it's given to you by people who are sincere about you.

The car ride to home is silent. When they reached home, her mother immediately asked her if she wanted to rest, but Sooji was determined to talk to the two of them.

"Hey, let's talk." Sooji doesn't know if calling her father dad is the right choice because even she herself doesn't consider it right anymore. So she just settled with the casual hey instead.

The three of them settled on the sofa.
"Sooji.." her father trailed off. He's been observing Sooji since he first encountered her in the clinic. She was ten years old when he last saw Sooji. She was the type of kid who would smile at every corny jokes and she loved spitting jokes, even if they were mostly corny.

She would give him a big smile, and her cheeks would form into a squishy circle, and he couldn't help but chuckle at her cuteness. But that image of Sooji only remains in the deepest of his memories, where the only thing he can do is reminisce but can't bring it back.

The Sooji he's facing now looks more mature than he imagined. Her puffy cheeks are now gone. Her smiling eyes are now replaced with the familiar, fierce look, the ones she inherited from her father.

"You can't take me with you." Sooji was the first to start the conversation.

"No, you have to come with me. There's a lot of opportunity there," her father argued.

"But I will not be happy there. You know that. You can't just leave me and expect me to come with you whenever you want. I thought you're leaving for good, so why the hell did you come back?" Her mother rose from sitting after such words from her.

"I'm doing this for your own sake. I'm doing this because I love you," her father pleads.

"You don't fucking love me. You can't leave the one you love easily. You can't bear not having a contact with them for years. There's many solutions to long distance communication, you know? I was old enough to learn how to write and read letters; I'd wait even if it takes months. I can call you in any social media apps, but I can't even find you. You didn't try to find me too. So how the hell am I supposed to believe that you love me when the only thing you made me feel was being unworthy of love and attention?!" Sooji shouted with all her might.

Her mother completely broke down at the sight of her daughter. The realisation suddenly hits her. She can never deny that she almost gave up on her child. When Sooji was hitting puberty, she didn't even try to understand her. She thought Sooji was rebelling, and she thought there was no right direction for her anymore. So she gave up.

What she didn't realise is that it was her fault that Sooji chose the path she didn't want in the first place. Because there was no guidance that puts Sooji back on the right path. She chose not to be there for her because she'd given up. Her life wasn't treating her well, but little did she know, she was also giving Sooji the life she didn't want.

"I'm so fucking sick of wondering why all of this happened! So for once, can't I choose myself first? Can't I make a decision that can make me happy? Why should I follow you? I'm the one who suffers the most here! Why do all of you have the courage to bring me into this world just to run away from your responsibilities?" Sooji's father froze.

"Sooji, calm down." Her father tried to calm Sooji, but no one can really calm a person who just lashed out the emotion they've been bottling up for years.