Midsummer blanket nights

I hate my Father : Only if he knew how to Love

I hate my Father, not being partial,
I hate my mother too,
He's not a good guy, atleast not to me.
No he isn't an alcoholic, nicotine,
Or drug addict, but a sex addict.
Even with a wife,
He sleeps around every night (mutually of course),
Watching other women naked is his way of expressing himself,
He doesn't know what a bad boy he's been.
My mother is no better,
Just a 'pick me' who puts other women down.

I hate my Father,
The person
Who granted me the most pain,
The person who isn't a good father,
It fills me with disgust,
To think that I arose from his
Testicles;
Not one thing,
I appreciate about him
'Cause of course, my father doesn't know how to Love.

I must've been a bad daughter
For my so called 'family',
It's him, my father,
Who taught me, how not to love,
Never have I hated someone
But he's an exception.

I hate my Father
Hated myself for so long,
Thinking I was the ungraceful,
But little did I know,
How much of a big rascal
He was,
I still hate myself,
But not more than I hate him.
For the person who gave me the most pain
Is not an immature
Neither am I his lamb,
Doesn't he know the role of a father?
Strikes me everytime.

The end of myself seems like the only option,
Overdosed on expired medicines,
Body still functions like before
Yeah, it wasn't a good idea,
Tried cutting myself
But courage is what I lack,
Just have to run to the
High velocity truck,
To not breathe a breath of him again.
Everynight going to sleep
Wishing to still be asleep next morning,
My body lying lifeless
On the matress of disgrace,
Mind so calm,
Heart so settled,
Eyes are closed forever,
Just lifeless like every other troubled daughter.

Disgusted to call him father
Disgusted to be his daughter,
Faint blue marks on my body,
Some are faded, some are new,
It still hurts,
Pressing onto wounds
Pressing onto pain,
Whimpering in the bathroom
Corner of the basin,
Still feeling guilty for things
That aren't even proceedings of my crime.
I don't fear scars,
That you give unto my body,
I fear the scars that I might
As well start giving myself soon.

I despise my father,
Failed in fatherhood,
Failed in righteousness,
Failed in loyalty,
Just a toxic, suffocating,
A living RED FLAG.

Yeah, I've been grappling with daddy issues
Mommy issues, and
Family strife,
Reaching the end of myself,
Feels like the only way to ease the pain

Life was never fair,
Never would it be.....

~ While providing food, clothing, shelter, and education are
essential aspects of parenthood, these shouldn't
be used to manipulate children into feeling guilty.
These are responsibilities chosen when becoming a parent,
not bargaining chips. If a parent feels resentment about fulfilling
these basic needs, perhaps a deeper conversation is needed
about their reasons for having children. Ultimately, most parents
provide these necessities, and children shouldn't feel obligated
or burdened by them.
Though some parents are good too not denying that.
A healthy father, mother and child relationship is
What I crave.
I know society hates me now, bruh!
TC<3
💙

2024