Footprints in Your Heart

Remy: Complicated

The fire only lasts for about four minutes before Mrs Vanderwaal, the elderly lady in the house next door, has levelled it with her hose. She's incredible. So is the hose.

'You kids all right?' she calls over to our little group – Kai and I, a middle-aged couple, Ms Mille and three receptionists – before shouldering her hose like the legend she is.

'We're great,' I yell, giving her a thumbs-up. 'Cheers, Mrs V.' Beside me, Kai does the same, but then he turns to face me and I see he's still shaking a little.

'For a moment there...' He rubs his arms and shivers despite the persistent Fernsworth heat. 'If we hadn't been able to get Ms Mille out. Or if the fire had spread faster...'

I slap a hand onto his shoulder. 'You worry too much. Chill.'

'The brigade should be arriving soon.' We swivel to see Brenda, one of the receptionists, speaking in a hushed tone to Ms Mille. Charlotte thankfully seems to have calmed down, and she's sitting on the grass with her enormous sunnies on.

'The fire doesn't seem to have spread to any of the exhibitions,' Brenda continues. She smooths down the lapel of her blazer and bends down so that Ms Mille can hear what she's about to say next. Kai and I lean closer while trying not to seem like we're eavesdropping. 'But your office, Charlotte... '

Ms Mille yanks a corner of scarf away from where it's tangled with her sunglasses. 'What happened to it?'

Brenda looks over her shoulder briefly; Kai and I drop our eyes to the ground like we're suddenly finding the weed-strewn grass very interesting. 'It's hard to tell at this stage. But judging by the state of the wall, we're likely looking at some destruction.' She says it carefully. I would too – there's no guessing how Ms Mille's going to react.

'Oh.' Her eyes cloud over as she digests the news. I follow her blank gaze and there's nothing but the back fences of the neighbours opposite. 'Maybe I left the toaster on. How bad is it?'

I'm listening for Brenda's reply when there's one ping, two vibrations in the pocket of my skirt. Not again. I scramble for my phone, fuelled by that familiar feeling between dread and resolve.

No one needs you here.

It's a reply to the story I posted this morning – a picture of the sunrise from my bedroom window. I turn away from Kai and the others, heart racing in a pattern I don't understand. Another two pings in quick succession.

It should have been you

Instead of Leo

I nearly drop my phone as I stare at those words. They say so little but they mean so much. There's a roaring in my ears and a painful lump in my throat. I think I'm about to cry. I want to slap this person until they cry. Please, no. I'm about to fucking cry in front of Kai and Ms Mille and everyone else here.

Snatches of Brenda's voice drone on in the background. 'We'll need to document all damages to the building.' I feel like curling up into a ball and screaming until there's nothing left. 'Georgia, my file please...'

'Remy?' Kai's voice is soft behind me. A hesitant crunch of dry leaves underfoot.

'I'm fine,' I snap without turning around, willing away the stupid choke in my voice. I don't want his pity. 'Can you leave it?'

I say it more harshly than I mean to, and my conscience immediately inflicts a stab of regret. Kai hasn't been anything but compassionate. A part of me admits it would be a relief to have someone in my corner, but still I can't make myself do it. I physically can't turn around and pour my burdens onto him and let him help me.